MEMOIR OF A GENTLEMAN. 263 



submitted. The house was now a scene of wild and unre- 

 stricted extravagance. Tenants ran away, cattle were depre- 

 ciated, and worse still, claims made upon the property that 

 had never been foreseen, and in nine months I was engaged 

 in as many lawsuits. I must have sunk beneath these cala- 

 mities, but a domestic event gave a new turn to my hopes. 

 No heir had yet been promised, when happily it was whis- 

 pered that this blessing was not an impossibility. Day after 

 day confirmed the happy news, till at last it was regularly 

 announced in the ' Connaught Journal/ that Mrs. Dawkins, 

 of Castle Toole, was 'as ladies wish to be who love their 

 lords.' 



" Of course, from that moment any contradiction would 

 have been death to my dear Drusilla, She never reigned 

 lady-paramount till now, and her will was absolute. Rela- 

 lives trooped down in scores, and Mark Antony was doubly 

 cherished. Notwithstanding my nerves thrilled at their 

 arrival, the Blazers were honourably feasted ; and, at the 

 especial request of Mrs. Dawkins, on that occasion I deter- 

 mined to make a character. I really was half a hero ; 

 presided at the head of my own table like its master, gave 

 divers bumper toasts, and sat out the evening, until I was 

 fairly hors de combat, and tumbled from the chair. Drunk 

 as I was, I recollected clearly all that passed. As but a 

 couple of bottles a man had been then discussed, my early 

 fall appeared to create a sensation. ( Is it a fit he has ?' 

 inquired an under-sized gentleman with an efflorescent nose, 

 who had been pointed out to me as a six-bottle cus- 

 tomer. ' Phoo !' replied my loving cousin, * the man has 

 no more bottom than a chicken. Lift him ; he has a good 

 heart, but a weak head, He II never do for Galway \ But, 

 come, lads,' and Marc hopped over my body, as I was 

 being taken up by the servants, * I'll give you that top- 

 sawyer, his wife, and long may she wear the breeches !' 

 It was gratifying to find that the toast was generally ad- 

 mired, for the very attendants that ' bore the corpse along,' 

 stopped at the door, and shouted 'hip, hip, hurra!' from 

 the staircase. 



"Every day from this period I became more unhappy 

 and contemptible. My blue-stocking aunt, who, for reasons 

 unnecessary to explain, had been since my marriage totally 

 estranged, was now officially informed, that the name of 



