MEMOIR OF A GENTLEMAN. 269 



happiness for ever, and that 1 must submit. My pride 

 would sometimes fire at the slights I suffered from my very 

 underlings, and the cool contempt of those locusts who lived 

 only upon my bounty. I was reduced to utter dependency, 

 and yet I never murmured a remonstrance. Presently, my 

 wife took possession of my banker's book yet I did not 

 rebel for my nerves were weak, my spirit humble ; fate 

 made my own conduct punish me, and I had philosophy to 

 bear it patiently. But one thing reconciled me to much 

 misery it was a darling hope a cherished fancy this was 

 left when all besides had fled, and I clung to it with the 

 tenacity of a wretch who seizes the reed to support him 

 while he drowns. That hope, that sole dependence, was in 

 my unborn child ; on that being, haply, I might lavish my 

 love ; and when nothing else remained on earth whereon to 

 rest my affections, I turned to a visionary thing, a creature 

 not in existence, as an object on which to fix my heart. You 

 smile ; but ah, sirs, remember I had not nerves and feelings 

 like the multitude. I am a poor helpless wretch, unfitted to 

 withstand the villany of mankind, and struggle through a 

 world where the boldest will often blench, and the wisest 

 hold their course with difficulty." 



He became deeply agitated, and though, poor fellow, I had 

 laughed heartily at the faithful picture he gave, in the course 

 of his narrative, of all concerned, I could not but respect his 

 griefs. He soon continued 



"At times I felt a misgiving in my bosom, and pangs 

 of jealousy tormented me. I saw much culpable familiarity 

 between my wife and her relative : and for some trifling 

 cause, she and I, for some time past, had not occupied the 

 same apartment. Could she forget herself and me so far? 

 Oh, no, no, she could not ! She would not do a being like 

 me, who submitted to her command, and sacrificed every 

 thing to her fancy, so base, so cruel an injury ! I never 

 harmed a worm willingly ; and surely she would not wrong 

 one so totally her thrall her worshipper as I ? 



"I considered that between the parties there existed a 

 near relationship, and national habits and early intimacy 

 might warrant what was certainly indelicate, but still might 

 not be criminal. God help me ! At times my brain burned 

 my senses were almost wandering ; and had this state of 



