14 CONVERSATIONAL HINTS 



at a comfortable table, why you'll be in a bit of a 

 hole. Consistency would prompt you to abstain, 

 appetite urges you to eat. What is a poor talker 

 to do? Obviously, he must get out somehow. 

 Here is a suggested method. Begin by admiring 

 the room. 



' By Jove, what a jolly little room this is. It's 

 as spick and span as a model dairy. I wish you'd 

 take me on as your tenant, Chalmers, when you've 

 got a vacancy.' 



Chalmers will say, 'It's not a bad little hole. 

 Old Mrs. Nubbles keeps things wonderfully spruce. 

 This is one of the cottages I built five years ago.' 



There's your first move. Your next is as 

 follows. Every rustic cottage contains gruesome 

 china ornaments and excruciating cheap German 

 prints of such subjects as The Tryst (always spelt 

 The Trist on the German print), The Baylor's 

 Return, The Warior's Dreem, Napoleon at Arcola, 

 and so forth. Point to a china ornament and say, 

 ' I never knew cows in this part of the country were 

 blue and green.' Then after you've exhausted the 

 cow, milked her dry, so to speak, you can take a 

 turn at the engravings, and make a sly hit at the 

 taste in art generated by modern education. Here- 



