66 CONVERSATIONAL HINTS 



at any rate, the merit of truthful portraiture ? 

 Why, I have been overwhelmed with epistolary 

 reproaches in every variety of feminine hand- 

 writing. ' A careful mother ' writes from Dorset a 

 locality hitherto associated in my mind with butter 

 rather than with blame to protest that she has 

 been so horrified by my cynical tone, that she does 

 not intend to take ' Punch ' in any longer. She adds, 

 that '" Punch" has laid upon my drawing-room 

 table for more than thirty years.' Heavens, that 

 he should have been so deeply, so ungrammatically, 

 honoured without knowing it ! Is he no longer to 

 recline amid photograph albums, gift-books, and 

 flower-vases, upon that sacred table ? And are you, 

 madam, to spite a face which has always, I am 

 certain, beamed upon him with a kindly considera- 

 tion, by depriving it wantonly of its adorning and 

 necessary nose. Heaven forbid ! Withdraw for 

 his sake and for yours that rash decision, while 

 there is yet time, and restore him to his wonted 

 place in your affections, and your drawing-room. 



But all are not like this. Here, for instance, 

 is a sensible and temperate commentary, which it 

 gives me pleasure to quote word for word as it was 

 written : 



