LIMELIGHT AND IVIUSIC 



doubt that the pictures would show up well. The 

 crowd didn't get interfered with in the evening by 

 passing vehicles. My band was late, but eventually 

 they tumbled up the ladder on to a bench on the low 

 roof. " Go on, boys," I said to them. " Go ahead. 

 I'm going to start the pictures." Some fearsome 

 noises were produced in their " preliminary," and a 

 yell went up from the crowd, which was growing 

 larger and larger. I was furious and, leaving a pretty 

 picture on the wall, stepped outside crying : " Why the 

 hell don't you begin ? You've been fooling long enough. 

 Play a march to begin with." The cornet looked blind, 

 but managed to say : " We used to begin with a polka. 

 It will make them lively like." "Well, begin," I 

 shouted in despair. " I've paid you to play. Let them 

 have a tune." They began, and almost immediately 

 any sounds were drowned in jeers and shrieks from the 

 crowd. I have heard a few bum orchestras, but that 

 polka ! It was like a schottische played by one of 

 the old street organs with a broken pipe or two. The 

 clarionet was always late, but the trombone was a 

 marvel, and played his loudest ; it eventually became 

 a solo for him. I put on all the new slides, but the 

 hundreds in the street were all ears, no eyes. I shrieked 

 to my four artists : " Go on ; play something you know." 

 x\nd off they went for the " Blae Danube," after passing 

 round a black bottle which I saw contained square- 

 face (hollands gin). I left my assistant, just engaged, 

 to go on with the pictures and went down in the crowd. 

 I was yelling with them in a minute. It was the wildest 

 fun ever witnessed. The players got worse. ^Yhy were 

 instruments ever invented ? But the trombone stuck to 

 it and the blasts from that terrible weapon of his could 

 have been heard for miles. The clarionet tried to get 

 up and shake his instrument, but tobogganed down 



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