NEWSPAPER WINDOW-DRESSING 



They appeared interested as much as I was myself. 

 " Did you ever try it yourself ? " asked Du Cros. 

 " Only on paper," said I, and I was immediately 

 reminded of a story I was told by my nurse — or some- 

 body a great many years ago — about the old man who 

 sold eels on a barrow. He had been on the same 

 pitch for a quarter of a century. " They're very 

 good," said a man eating them. " Very good," 

 ejaculated the vendor. " Yes, particularly good," 

 mumbled the eater, as he ordered another portion. 

 " Will you try some with me — I mean at my 

 expense?" "Do you know," said the fish merchant, 

 " I've been selling them 'ere eels for five and twenty 

 years and have never tasted them myself yet ! " 



Well, the question whether I had ever acted on my 

 own on-paper-infallible systems was a poser, and I was 

 driven to say in a moment of elation that I would 

 certainly try it. " I wouldn't mind having a hundred 

 on it," said Harvey Du Cros (we were at his flat). " And 

 I'll put a hundred in," said Collins, " if you two boys 

 will." So we had a little syndicate and the profits 

 were to be paid out every week. Alas for the putting 

 of a theory into practice : we were busted in about 

 three weeks. 



The system was well understood, for not only did it 

 appear in the Express, but the typewritten copy of the 

 principles were in triplicate — one for each — and all 

 I had to do was to send off the latest horse for each 

 race of the day before the first race, so that there 

 should be no possible doubt whatever. They were 

 very charming when the bank was done in, but, you 

 know what I mean, there is a horrible sort of feeling 

 about losing other people's money. 



Systems can be worked, but oh, the difference 

 between the theory and the practice ! It really was 



