TRUE FACTS ABOUT THE COUNTIES CLUB 



the last twitter of the wheezy consumptive in the 

 aviary due to die that night, and saw a thrifty club 

 steward come out and turn off the lights in the winter 

 garden. There was one waiter, an excellent chap, 

 whom I had kept on ; he very much resembled, in fact 

 was the dead spit of Alfred Lester. So, dear friends, 

 can you picture some of the moments in that damn 

 club ? A little life was put into it on one or two 

 occasions by having a dance, but this was misunder- 

 stood by Newmarket, who didn't want any innovation, 

 and who were too mean to help the show along. I 

 had the niggers down — that trio so well known in 

 the West End of London — for the July meetings; 

 a few would come and hear them. 



In the meantime, not having a garden, it was decided 

 to take Willoughby House, a beautiful place with a 

 lovely old garden. Tennis and badminton were in- 

 stalled, and became real popular. I will say for certain 

 members of the Ring that they applauded to the echo 

 everything done to amuse them. The big drawing- 

 room, furnished I think very elegantly, was used a 

 fair amount, especially on wet days. But then came 

 periods when a lonely caretaker in livery would stand 

 at the open door trying to welcome in members who 

 never came. " What time will I shut the club to- 

 night, sir ? " he would ask. " Any time you darned 

 please," I would reply, and go over to the club proper 

 to hear the cursed drip drip of that everlasting leaking 

 fountain. 



In the late summer I had to think of what was 

 going to be done in view of the autumn. Drew was a 

 sick man, but I had to tell him that the bills were 

 coming in. Another hundred was wanted for the 

 electric light company, in addition to what had been 

 paid them. Then the butcher wanted fifty pounds, 



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