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LAUGHABLE. 



Amus PerUvinkle^s Kwceii- 

 Beez IVIaik lluniiy ? 



Du 



WriUen for the American Bee Journal 

 BY WILYCM SOCKS. 



" When dockters disagree hoo shel 

 deside ?" E^-e hev seen the abuv 

 kwotashun in print nigh onto a 1.000 

 times, and ez no one seems to be abel 

 tu deside the kwestj'nn, e3'e hev kon- 

 kluded to deside it miself ; and ez nay- 

 bor Amus Periwinkle sez, "without 

 feer uv sucksessfiil kontradickshun." 



Amiis Periwinkle iz mi neerest nay- 

 bor. Siuuthing over a year ago a 

 swarm uv beez lit onto hiz kotton-wood 

 tree, and he rapt a shawel round hiz 

 lied, and went out and hived them in 

 a emptj' sope box. In November, he 

 poot them into hiz seller, and kept 

 them thare untill abowt the tyme 

 sugar-sap began to run, when he car- 

 i-yed them owt, and sot them into liiz 

 back yard. But they dident du verry 

 well all spring — the wukers dident 

 croud the entrans — and Amus began 

 tu git oneesy about them. So wnn 

 day he saw liilly Grafton passing, and 

 kalled him in tu look at hiz beez. 



Billy Grafton livs about a mile owt 

 on the rode tu Sleepy Holler, and 

 keeps a good luenny bea-hives. It 

 dident talk him long tu find thet 

 Amusses beez hed no kween ; so he 

 told Amus thet if heed kum out tu hiz 

 playse, he wood sell him a good war- 

 rented kween. 



In a week or two Amus went out tu 

 git the kween ; but it wuz a kold day, 

 and Billy dident like tu open his hives 

 for feer the beez mite stampeed, or 

 sumthing ; so he looked around to see 

 if he cood find a kween lofing on the 

 aliting-borde. Pretty soon he picked 

 up a droan, and told Amus she wuz 

 all rite. 



Amus hed gon to skule several 

 terms in hiz younger daiz, but his edi- 

 kashun in entymollygy wuz sumhow 

 negleckted, and he diilent no a kween 

 bea from enuy uther kind uv a bug. 



Thet same afternoon Amus kame to 

 my hous, and invited me over tu hiz- 

 zen, tu introdoos hiz kween for him. 

 Eye acsepted the invitashun, and when 

 he brot hiz kween out, holding the 

 kaige between hiz hands tu keep hur 

 warm, eye kood hardly keep from 

 laffing az soon ez eye got site uv her. 

 But, sez eye, "Amus jevver see a 

 kween bea befour now ?" " No," sez 

 Amus ; " this iz the furst wun eye ever 

 sot ies onto. Sheez a buty, aiut she ?" 

 " Well," sez eye, " Amus, thet thares 

 a mity helthy looking kween, but its 

 mi beleef she want never lay no aigs 

 nor maik no hunny." "Why?" sez 

 he. " Sheez not thetkind uv a kween," 



sez eye. " But sheez warrented," sez 

 he, "and eye payed a hull doller for 

 her!" " Kaint help thet," sez eye; 

 "sheez only a setter ; sheel set all 

 summer, but she wont never hatch 

 nuthing." But Amus waz surtin she 

 waz all rite, and eye sed no moi-e. 



My plan waz tu shoo her in at the 

 entrans, but Amus thot she wood stay 

 on the nest better if she wer left in the 

 kaige ; so eye set her thet way and 

 kame home. 



The neckst morning eye met Billy 

 Grafton in the rode ; he lafl'ed, then 

 eye lafl'ed, then we both latfed ; and 

 thets all we sed, except thet it waz a tine 

 day for beez. Amusses beez swarmed 

 out one at a time, and gradyuUy dis- 

 appeared ; but neckst spring he is 

 going to by a hull swarm. 



But eye am digressiu'. Eye hed in 

 minde the kontrovessy now going on 

 in the bea-paypers konserning hunny. 

 Prof. Kook, uv the Meeshegan Kol- 

 ledge, a bea-keeper of sevral 100 col- 

 loneys, and a gentleman hoo hez heer- 

 twofour stood hi in hiz professhun, hez 

 writ a number uv peaces tu pruve thet 

 hunny iz "digested neckter," which he 

 ascer'tanes by a test with litmus payper. 

 Now, befour eye went into the bea- 

 bizness for miself, eye suppozed thet 

 hunny waz " digested neckter ;" in 

 faekt eye inklined tu thetopinyun kon- 

 sidabel more than 45 degrees. Thet is 

 wun of the original idees M'ith a grate 

 menny people. Thay think thet beez 

 maik hnnu)- out uv pawlen and wotter; 

 and the modern idee, thet thay sip the 

 neckter from the poseys and carry it 

 tu thare hives, and bile it down with 

 the heet uv thare boddeys. is sump- 

 thing thet the avrage man or woman 

 never thot ov. It kums to them, how- 

 sumever, after a few 5'ears pracktickel 

 expeerens with beez. Tharcfour eye 

 klame thet Mister Kook is not the 

 original diskuverer of thet hurrysy. 

 " The prufe ov the pooding iz in the 

 eeting ov it." So it iz with hunny, 

 and no litmous payper kood konvins 

 me tu the kontrary. 



Take a peace ov litmus payper, or 

 ennj' other kind uv payper, and hold it 

 up behind a 2-year-old hos.s-kolt, and 

 he will kick up hiz heels just too (2) 

 feet. Tri the same exparenient on a 

 mool, and if he iz in hiz prime and 

 feeling well, the result will be jist the 

 same. In nuther kase iz the plane ov 

 poleriza.shun turned eether tu the rite 

 or left, but strate out, and the formoola 

 is ritten exaekly the same, KI3 CK2. 



Now this wood seem tu proov the 

 mool a hors, but it dont. The origin 

 of the mool reeches fur back into the 

 misty heertoofur ov antickuyty. He 

 iz menshuned bi wun ov the anslicnt 

 riters, hoo states thet a sertin yung 

 man found hiz mools in the woods 

 (Gen. xxxvi, 24). This proovs hiz 



grate antickujtj' ; and we no posa- 

 tivelj', from sertin karacktcristics peku- 

 lar tu the beest, thet he iz a highbrid 

 ov grate strength ov eendoorens and 

 self-kontrole. and not a hors. 



The highpothesis thet hunnj- iz di- 

 gested neckter iz untenable, bekaws, 

 furst, it iz kontrary tu natur ; seckond, 

 it iz not in keeping with thet artistick- 

 ness in houskeeping for which beez are 

 adepts in an eminent degree ; thurd, 

 the droans woodent allow it ; forth, it 

 iz an unpossybillyty, bekaws the stum- 

 ick ov the bea iz bilt sumpthing like 

 thet ov a hors, so thet the valves wont 

 wurk both wais, and an emetick wood 

 hev no efieckt. It maiks wnn feel sort 

 uv flabergasted tu tliink uv it. 



Tharefour, in the lite ov modern 

 reesurch, eye klame — and eye think 

 eye hev sufflshently demonstraighted 

 the fackt — thet hunny iz not digested 

 neckter, but neckter gathured by the 

 beez from the bokays of natur ; de- 

 pozited in thare sells, and biled down 

 by the heet ov thare boddeys, into 

 which iz then put a few drops of 

 formick assid tu keep it from spileing. 

 Ergo, hunny iz assidula3'ted neckter, 

 and thets why it all tastes like hunnv. 



Skwashtown, loa, Oct. 12, 1889. 



SEASON'S RESULTS. 



« 



, M. Doolillle's Report— Bees 

 l>y the Pound in tlic mails. 



Written for the American Bee Journal 

 BY G. M. DOOLITTLE. 



The season of 1889 has been a very 

 peculiar one. The spring opened un- 

 usually fine, continuing so up to May 

 20, when the bees in this locality were 

 fully as strong as they usually are on 

 June 15, which gave us bright hopes 

 of the future— so much so that I began 

 queen-rearing largely, thinking that 

 for once I would be in the tield with 

 queens nearlj' as soon as some of our 

 Southern brethren. But, alas for 

 human hopes ; for with May 21 came 

 on a cold rain-storm, which, with 

 nearly winter weather, continued until 

 June 12. This upset all of my plans 

 at queen-rearing, for nearly all of my 

 nuclei perished, queen-cells were de- 

 stroyed, and no queens were fertilized 

 during that time. 



After getting- things in shape again, 

 I found that, after my sales, I had only 

 2(5 queens left to commence the sea- 

 son with, the most of which were pretty 

 well supplied with bees, but no brood 

 except in the egg and larval form, for 

 no brood was reared during this cold 

 spell. 



From these colonies I drew quite 

 heavily of bees to start in the queen- 

 business again, so that of course they 



