DALZELL CASTLE 



LANARKSHIRE 



T is told of a distinguished Frenchman 

 who applied himself resolutely to master 

 the anomalies of English orthography 

 and pronunciation, that he made famous 

 progress with ordinary vocables such as 

 " cough" and -" plough," "read" and " bread," the 

 verb " sow " and the substantive " sow," etc. ; but 

 had to confess himself gravelled among proper names. 

 "Here," he complained, "is a gentleman who spells 

 his name C-H-O-L-M-O-N-D-E-L-E-Y, and you tell me it 

 sounds 'Marchbanks!' But it is not reasonable, that!" 

 Equally deceitful is the pitfall dug for the 

 southerner who mispronounces the name Dalzell 

 according to its spelling, or, as he or she may feel 

 disposed to put it, pronounces it according to the 

 misspelling. The correct pronunciation is attained 

 simply by naming the consonants D L, with stress on 

 the L. "Then, why on earth," grumbles the English 

 visitor, "cannot Scotsmen spell names as they wish 

 them pronounced?" To which fair rejoinder might 

 be made by referring to such English names as 

 Worcester, Cirencester, etc. ; only that is the tu quoque 



180 



