THE 



IN IMITATION OF DEAN SWIFT. 



LOGICIAKS have but ill defin'd 



As rational the human mind : 



Reason, they say, belongs to man, 



But let them prove it if they can. 



Wise Aristotle and Smiglesius, 



By Ratiocinations specious, 



Have strove to prove with great precision, 



With difinition and division, 



Homo est rat tone preditum ; 



But for my soul I cannot credit 'eni ; 



And must in spite of them maintain, 



That man and all his ways are vain ; 



And that this boasted lord of nature ; 



Is both a weak and erring creature. 



That instinct is a surer guide, 



Than reason-boasting mortals' pride ; 



And that brute beasts are far before 'em, 



Deus est anima brutorum. 



Whoever knew an honest brute, 



At law his neighbour prosecute, 



Bring action for assault and battery, 



Or friend beguile with lies and flattery ? 



O'er plains they ramble unconfin'd, 



No politics disturb their mind ; 



They eat their meals, and take their sport, 



Nor know who's in or out at court : 



They never to the levee go 



To treat as dearest friend, a foe : 



They never importune his grace, 



Nor ever cringe to men in place ; 

 Nor undertake a dirty job, 

 Nor draw the quill to write for Bob. 

 Fraught with invective, they ne'er go 

 To folks at Pater-noster-Row : 

 No judges, fiddlers, dancing masters, 

 No pick-pockets, or poetasters, 

 Are known to honest' quadrupeds; 

 No single brute his fellow leads. 

 Brutes never meet in bloody fray, 

 Nor cut each other's throat for pay. 

 Of beasts, it is confess'd, the ape 

 Comes nearest us in human shape ; 

 Like man he imitates each fashion, 

 And malice is his ruling passion : 

 But both in malice and grimaces, 

 A courtier any ape surpasses. 

 Behold him humbly cringing wait 

 Upon the minister of state : 

 View him soon after to inferiors 

 Aping the conduct of superiors : 

 He promises with equal air, 

 And to perform takes equal care. 

 He in his turn finds imitators ; 

 At court, the porters, lackeys, waiters, 

 Their master's manners still contract, 

 And footmen lords and dukes can act. 

 Thus at the court, both great and small, 

 Behave alike, for all ape all. 



