ESSAYS. 



867 



away half the grounds of Cornwall, I am con- 

 tent ; i have no lands there : if the stocks 

 sink, that gives me no uneasiness ; I am no 

 Jew.' The fellow's vivacity, joined to his 

 poverty, I own, raised my curiosity to know 

 something of his life and circumstances; and 

 I entreated that he would indulge my desire. 

 'That I will, sir,' said he, 'and welcome; 

 only let us drink to prevent our sleeping ; let 

 us have another tankard while we are awake: 

 let us h;ive another tankard ; for, ah, how 

 charming a tankard looks when full ! 



' You must know, then, that I am very well 

 descended; my ancestors have made some 

 noise in the world ; for my mother cried 

 ovsters, and my father beat a drum : I am 

 told we have even had some trumpeters in 

 our family. Many a nobleman cannot show 

 so respectful a genealogy : but that is neither 

 here nor there. As I was their only child, 

 my lather designed to breed me up to his own 

 employment, which was that of a drummer to 

 a puppet-show. Thus the whole employment 

 of my younger years was that of interpreter 

 to Punch and king Solomon in all his glory. 

 But, though my father was very fond of in- 

 structing me In beating all the inarches and 

 points of war, I made no very great progress, 

 because I naturally had no ear for music; so 

 at the age of fifteen, I went and listed for a 

 soldier. As I had ever hated beating a drum, 

 so I soon found that I disliked carrying a mus- 

 ket also ; neither the one trade nor the other 

 were to my taste, for I was by nature fond of 

 being a gentleman : besides, I was obliged to 

 obey my captain ; he has his will, I have mine, 

 and you have yours: now I very reasonably 

 concluded, that it was much more comfortable 

 for a man to o-bey his own will than another's. 



' The life of a soldier soon therefore gave 

 me the spleen ; I asked leave to quit the ser- 

 vice ; but. as I was tall and strong, my cap- 

 tain thanked me for my kind intention, and 

 said, because he had a regard for me, we 

 should not part. I wrote to my fatheravery 

 dismal penitent letter, and desired he would 

 raise money to pay for my discharge; but 

 the good man was as fond of drinking as I was, 

 (Sir, my service to you.) and those who are 

 fond of drinking never pay for other people's 

 discharges : in short, he never answered my 

 letter. What could be done ? If I have not 



money, said I to myself, to pay for my dis- 

 charge, I must find an equivalent some other 

 way ; and that must be by running away. I 

 deserted, and that answered my purpose 

 every bit as well as if I had bought my dis- 

 charge. 



'Well, I was now fairly rid of my military 

 employment; I sold my soldier's clothes, and 

 bought worse, and, in order not to be over- 

 taken, took the most unfrequented roads pos- 

 sible. One evening, as I was entering a vil- 

 lage, I perceived a man, whom I afterwards 

 found to be the curate of the parish, thrown 

 from his horse in a miry road, and almost 

 smothered in the mud. He desired my as- 

 sistance; I gave it, and drew him out with 

 some difficulty. He thanked me for my trou- 

 ble, and was going ofT; but I followed him 

 home, for I loved always to have a man thank 

 me at his own door. The curate asked me 

 an hundred questions; as, whose son I was, 

 from whence I came, and whether I would be 

 faithful? I answered him greatly to his satis- 

 faction ; and gave myself one of the best cha- 

 racters in the world for sobriety, (Sir, I have 

 the honour of drinking your health,) discre- 

 tion, and fidelity. To make a long story short, 

 he wanted a servant, and hired me. With 

 him I lived but two months ; we did not much 

 like each other; I was fond of eating, and he 

 gave me but little to eat. I loved a pretty 

 girl, and the old woman, my fellow-servant, 

 was ill-natured and ugly. As they endea- 

 voured to starve me between them, I made a 

 pious resolution to prevent their committing 

 murder : I stole the eggs as soon as they were 

 laid ; I emptied every unfinished bottle that 

 I could lay my hands on ; whatever eatable 

 came in my way was sure to disappear: in 

 short, they found I would not do : so I was dis- 

 charged one morning, and paid three shillings 

 and sixpence for two months' wages. 



' While my money was getting ready, I 

 employed myself in making preparations for 

 my departure; two hens were hatching in an 

 out-house, I went and habitually took the eggs, 

 and, not to separate the parents from the 

 children, I lodged hens and all in my knap- 

 sack. After this piece of frugality, I return- 

 ed to receive my money, and with my knap- 

 sack on my back, and a staff' in my hand. I 

 bid adieu, with tears in my eyes, to my old 

 6D 



