74 BEITAXNY AND THE CHASE. 



table, and stare her impudently out of countenance, as I 

 have often seen. 



As to male kissing, what can I say to make an English- 

 man understand it ? John comprehends the theory and 

 practice of kissing, and thinks himself perfect in it, but he 

 little dreams that beyond the circle in which he disports 

 himself, there is another, and that of kissing men. Instead 

 of soft cheeks and ruby lips, he must fancy a rough face 

 and a beard like a horse's tail, and let him try his hand 

 upon that for a change. Habit is strong, but beards are 

 stronger, and with John would carry the day. In the 

 streets you see two hirsute beings rush into each other's 

 arms, and kiss and hug like a husband and wife after a 

 month's absence: to look at them, you would call it a 

 meeting of blacking brushes. You go downstairs on your 

 birth-day, or on New Year's Day, or any other great 

 fete ; but keep a sharp look out, or you are ravished in a 

 moment by the cook or the groom. Only the other day, 

 my man rushed upon me like a tiger, and I had difficulty 

 in keeping him off : all he wanted was a kiss on my birth- 

 day, sweet creature ! My cook, an old woman of sixty- 

 five, waylaid me for a whole morning to the terror of my 

 life, and never gave up the design until told by my wife 

 that I was positively untouchable. Let Englishmen look 

 out therefore, for if the French invade us, they will also 

 be ravished to a certainty, " every man jack of them." 

 Curious, too, that while men embrace men they do not kiss 

 women, but merely put their heads over their shoulders, 

 first on one side and then on the other, like Punch and 

 Judy, or an embrace in the theatre. Sad want of taste 



