6 November — Sad Associations, 



in the forests like wild animals, but that some light of 

 culture should brighten our sylvan year. 



I indulged myself, further, in the hope — though this 

 may have been, to some extent, a common parental 

 illusion — that by the constant but gentle exercise of 

 paternal influence, whatever degree of that influence I 

 already possessed over Alexis might be increased during 

 the year that we were to live together in such close and 

 uninterrupted companionship. It is the misfortune of 

 public education that our sons are separated from us 

 in their youth and delivered into the hands of teachers, 

 who, however conscientious they may be, cannot, in the 

 nature of things, take that earnest and complete inter- 

 est in their whole mental and physical well-being which 

 incessantly occupies the mind of every father who is 

 worthy of the name. Since this boy alone remained to 

 me, I desired to establish between us relations of inti- 

 macy and friendship of a kind which cannot be incom- 

 patible with respect on one side and dignity on the other. 

 His brothers had loved me well, and when their life- 

 blood flowed out upon the miry ground at Gravelotte, 

 their last thoughts, so far as they related to anything 

 in this world, were, I doubt not, thoughts of tender 

 affection for their mother and dutiful love for me. I 

 know that they loved me well. There have been times 

 and occasions in our life . . . 



In vain I school myself into forgetfulness ; I can- 

 not quite forget, for all things remind me of my sons. 

 Alexis himself reminds me of them continually, and he 

 is constantly in my sight or in my thoughts. The place, 



