48 THE LIFE OF JAMES D. FORBES. [CHAP. 



' Every succeeding week tells me how changed is my 

 situation since this time last year. I believe I have 

 scarce made any notes this year on my professional views, 

 but they have much and deeply occupied my attention, 

 till, having done everything which information and advice 

 could accomplish, with long and anxioua consideration, 

 I ha.ve taken my general principles of viewing it, and 

 leave it in humble confidence to the wise Disposer of 

 events. My present thoughts are as follows : to devote 

 a moderate but steady share of attention to law, which, 

 as far as I understand, may never occupy nearly all my 

 time, and at first will leave me very great leisure. It is 

 my idea not to pass my Scotch law trials till spring 1831. 

 Then, if things go on well, to go abroad for a considerable 

 time. I confess my private views in this tour to be to 

 examine with a much more scientific view than last time 

 the south of Europe, to form scientific connections in 

 France and Italy, and I have never before had courage 

 to record it either by word of mouth or on paper to 

 write a personal narrative like Humboldt, and Travels 

 in Italy/ 



When the year brought round the anniversary of his 

 father's death, his grief came back as bitterly as at the 

 first : a whole week seems to have been kept as a 

 solemn season of remembrance and self-examination. 



'Saturday, October 24, 1829. J past 12. 



* With a bleeding heart I have just come out of my late 

 father's bedroom, where I resolved to spend the recur- 

 rence of the tremendous moment twelve minutes past 

 12. Oh that my sufferings, intense as they have been, 

 might produce some permanent change in my habits of 

 thought ! I am horror-struck when I think how little I 

 have done towards the great end I proposed to myself 

 last year; how little habitual the thought of death. I 

 poured out my soul to God upon the bed with an inex- 

 pressible intensity of feeling. Oh may this hour be 

 deeply engraven in my thoughts ! ' 



