354 THE LIFE OF JAMES D. FORBES. [CHAP. 



I ought to thank God for this reminder of feebleness and 

 mortality. This I hope I do sincerely, still praying, 

 however, that this visitation be not^unto death. I read 

 the Bible and other books, with an interest and applica- 

 tion to myself which I have not felt for long, and my 

 neglect of my greatest good appears very strange and 

 wicked. I do pray earnestly my God to bless to me 

 this reminder of mortality; the more striking as it 

 recalls my illness now of eight years ago, which, alas ! 

 has left so little impression. The chief good thoughts 

 which have passed through my mind in the last six 

 months are connected with the memories of John 

 Mackintosh. May the same Saviour, to whom he com- 

 mended me from his dying bed, be my support too, when 

 my hour shall come. Supposing this symptom, for it is 

 a mere symptom, were really to harbinger fatal disease, 

 were it not best to act so now, as to prepare myself for 

 such being the case ? The symptoms of fatal disease will 

 and must come some time. Will they be less unwelcome 

 then than now ? Probably not. More unwelcome as 

 their interpretation is less equivocal, unless God will 

 please to change my heart, so as to wean it from the love 

 of worldly things, and make me truly fitter than I now 

 am for the great change. I will earnestly pray that this 

 day's reflection may be a step to that change/ 



In two days his illness assumed a still more serious 

 aspect. On the 2nd December he writes in pencil to his 

 most intimate friend :-- 



' . . . I am sorry to grieve you as I fear this note will. 

 T have had a smart attack of blood-spitting. The cause was 

 obscure, but the immediate effect I much fear will be to 

 incapacitate me for duty. I rely much on your affection 

 and prayers. In all probability I shall be able to write 

 you a better letter in a day or two/ 



The crisis had at length come. The wear and tear of 

 more than twenty years winters devoted to his class, 

 summers still more trying to the strength, travels far 

 and near in search of knowledge, close application at 



