84 LIFE OF BENJAMIN SILLIMAN. 



(although it is but faint and glimmering) that God has 

 accepted of my soul, which was early given up to Him in 

 baptism by my pious parents, one of whom I trust is now 

 singing the song of Moses and the Lamb, and the other, I 

 trust, is fast ripening for heaven ; nor can I entirely de- 

 spair that the secret act of self-dedication which I have per- 

 formed in my closet has been regarded by Him who search- 

 eth the heart and trieth the reins. O my Redeemer, when 

 this day for the first time I taste the bread, the sacred sym- 

 bol of thy flesh, which was torn for my sins, and drink the 

 wine, that sacred symbol of thy blood, which was shed for 

 my sins, may I be melted with grief for my sins, warmed 

 with gratitude for thy disinterested love, and elevated with 

 hope by the remembrance that my Redeemer liveth, and 

 that I shall stand before Him at the last day ! 



YALE COLLEGE, Sept. 11, 1803. 



Sabbath and Communion .Day, 4 o'clock, p. M. This day 

 completes a year, reckoning by Sabbaths, since I did pub- 

 licly and solemnly give up my soul to God the Father, Son, 

 and Holy Ghost. On that day, for the first time, I sat 

 down at his table, and commemorated his dying love. On 

 that day I vowed not only to deny all sinful inclinations, but 

 to resign friends and even life, should God call me so to do. 

 I promised as far as possible to work out my own salvation, 

 but with fear and trembling, humbly hoping for the bless- 

 ing of God, without which I can do nothing. My life has 

 been prolonged, my probation extended, and salvation may 

 still be in store for me. 



This year has been attended by mercies, yes, innumer- 

 able and of incalculable value. I have enjoyed a state of 

 health unexampled for many years, with great vigor of 

 body and activity of mind. I have not been confined by 

 sickness, nor detained more than two half-days from the 

 house of God. My dear friends, in comfortable health and 

 circumstances, have all been spared to me. I have received 



