SERIOUS ILLNESS 319 



Pancras, and could you stop till the (I think) 8.30 train ? I 

 am truly sorry not to be looking forward this week to a 

 whole week-end, but I am stilk)bliged to get up and go to bed 

 at unusual hours ; but, indeed, I am very much better the 

 pain went, but one of the bad sort of cold or cough attacks 

 followed and I could not sleep properly for three nights 

 nor rest lying down. Now I can rest and sleep again. 



March 7, 1901. 



Please do not think that a good talk tires me or is any 

 strain. It is the want of conversation that I find so wearing, 

 and there is so very much that it will be quite a delight and 

 a rest for me to be allowed to go over with you. 



I am writing this to-day so that you may know that (so 

 far as anything in this world is certain) there is no possible 

 reason why I should not look forward to the pleasure of 

 our meeting next Sunday. I am not able to give you my 

 doctor's verdict for the good reason that he did not think 

 I needed looking up yesterday. 



March 12, 1901. 



You do not know how good and kind I think it of you to 

 let me rest on you for advice in this way, and it brings a 

 great brightness when you come and I can hope you are 

 making yourself at home. I am glad you like Mr. Newman. 

 I always feel that he is a quite true and well-judging friend, 

 very kindly, but at the same time so grave that I do not at 

 all times feel free to express all I am thinking about ! I 

 fancy that you u not being a lady" he would feel freer to 

 express what was uppermost. 



Thank you for all you say about Mr. John Murray, and 

 very especially indeed for your good advice. I do really 

 mean, and am trying to act on it, but cannot you imagine 

 the difficulty in not working as hard as body and mind will 

 allow ? 



However, I have made a thorough beginning ; amongst 

 various points, returning to Mr. Newman a great bundle of 

 proofs sent to be looked through, just think, unlocked at. I 

 also disposed of a regular onslaught with special letters from 

 Lady Warwick and Miss Edith Bradley, &c. I am minding 

 what you said [about curtailing work] very nicely. 



I am thankful to say I am feeling better every day, and 

 I am looking forward very much to being a better kind of 

 hostess if you will kindly spare me a week-end by and by. 



7 p.m. You are, I conjecture, just beginning your lecture 

 [on "Agriculture in South Africa"]. I hope it will be 

 thoroughly pleasant and satisfactory and that you will have 



