1895. 



THE AMERICAN BEE-KEEPER. 



219- 



Bcauuf, iBUiiiJs ap;;i,ijst tlie lence Wiitcli- 

 iug tlie auiuiais come out for tbi^ pre- 

 liniiuary canter, no one would suspect 

 that he owjied the favorite and a whole 

 stable full of other cracker jacks, and 

 that he had .several thousand dollars at 

 stake. 



If some nervous man who had just 

 played $5 on the favorite should ask 

 him what he thought of the chance of 

 ■winning, he would merely chuckle and 

 say, "Y' can't tall a thing about it." 



His clothes are so plain, and he has 

 such a farmerish way of whittling or 

 else chewing at straws, that he is over- 

 looked in the ordinary assemblage or 

 mistaken for some humble personage. 



In liis business ofiHce he does not oc- 

 cupy a separate apartment, the door of 

 which is guarded by a private secretary. 



His desk Is the same as that of an 

 employee. One day a woman book 

 agent came in and importuned the old 

 gentleman to purchase some books. 



"My girl," he said, "I'm a poor 

 Irishman, and I've had to work all my 

 life. I can't read a word." 



Thereafter when the agent came in 

 she always avoided the poor old man 

 •who couldn't read, to the intense 

 amusement of the employees. She sup- 

 posed him to be the janitor. — Chicago 

 Becord. 



HIS STOMACH FIRST. 



A Smart Toutli. 



A bright youth undergoing examina- 

 tion for admission to one of the govern- 

 ment departments found himself con- 

 fronted with the question: 



"What is the distance from the earth 

 to the sun?" 



Not knowing the exact number of 

 miles, he wrote in reply: 



"I am umble to state accurately, but 

 I don't believe the sun is near enough 

 to interfere with the proper performance 

 :)»f my duties if I get this clerkship. " 



He passed his examination. — London 

 fit-Bits. 



Crood Business. 



"Want anv mousetraps? Come, buy one. 

 Do!" 



"No, thar.ks. We have no mice." 

 "Ach, I'liuri'ow 'em in with pleasure." 

 — Humorist i clics. 



THE ENGLISHMAN A HEARTY LIVEFJ 

 AND HAS SIX MEALS A DAY. 



Astronoincr.i say that if a cannon could 

 be firi'd on the equator of .Jupiter tho ball 

 would tr:i\ c'l 4() times faster than if fred 

 at our emiatcir. 



How an American Fared In an English 

 Middle Class House With Breakfast at 

 7, Supper at 9 and Four Meals In Be- 

 tween — An Abiding Horror of Hot Bread. 



Any Engli.shiiKiu will acknowledge with 

 perfect good humor that it is an old saying 

 in his country that "an Englishman con- 

 siders his stomach first and his back after- 

 ward, " but no American can realize how 

 universally true the love of good living is 

 all over England, unless he has been for- 

 tunate enough to be invited to spend sev- 

 Iral months as a guest in a middle class 

 fiugli.sh home. 



The house where such a stay was had, 

 and to which the writer will always look 

 back with longing for a return of the de- 

 lightful days sijent there, was presided 

 over by a typical English hostess, rotmd, 

 ruddy and s(j jolly that, though she must 

 have been 60, one always thought of her as 

 young. 



Breakfast began at 7 o'clock, and we al- 

 ways found our hostess waiting for us in 

 the breakfast room, in her place at the 

 head of the table. English etiquette de- 

 mands that each person as he enters the 

 breakfast room should shake hands with 

 the hostess first, and then with every one 

 else in the room. This practice was, of 

 cour.se, new to the American guest, but it 

 was soon acquired, though more difficult 

 was the getting used to interruptions half 

 a dozen times in the course of the meal to 

 shake hands with the late risers as they 

 came in, one by one. 



Although it was summer, we never had 

 fruit for breakfast, nor is it eaten at any 

 time as generally as here. Nor, of course, 

 did we have hot rolls or warm cakes, or 

 even oatmeal, which was a surprise, since 

 the. Scotch use it so much. Of hot bread 

 of any kind the Britons Iiave an abiding 

 horror. There would always be two or 

 three kinds of cold meat, beef, mutton, 

 ham, etc., left over from the day before, 

 hot sausage or ei;gs, and, in season, a Mel- 

 ton-Mo wbray pork pie. Along with these 

 would be the nmst delicious of toast and 

 tea. Coffee was little drunk and was 

 not particularly ,uood, but the tea was al- 

 ways so much nicer than any tea which 

 can be had in this country that one easily 

 preferred it. 



About 11 o'clock comes what they call 

 "a bite and a snatch." This is naerely 

 bread and beer and a bit of uastrv. set in- 



