TURKEYS 95 



pinwheeling through the ages to come, neck and 

 neck with the names of Buffalo Jones, Scroggs 

 the Wyandotte man, the inventor of Mennen's 

 Toilet Powder, and kindred celebrities. 



So I invested in a pair of mammoth bronzes 

 that were displayed in a window of a Boston 

 store, and awaited their arrival with ill-concealed 

 anxiety. 



For three nights subsequent to the purchase 

 of the birds I drove to the station with a huge 

 crate, which I had fastened to the pung so firmly 

 that it prevented me from using the sleigh for 

 any other purpose, and for three nights I re- 

 turned disappointed. On the fourth night I found 

 them waiting in a crate fully as Jarge, upon which 

 freight-bills were due sufficient to freight a horse 

 to the Pacific slope. This, with the amount al- 

 ready paid for the birds, made my original in- 

 vestment somewhat disquieting. However, I 

 loaded the new crate on the old one, tied it as 

 well as I could with the hitch - rope, climbed 

 stiffly to the seat, and started for home. 



Respected reader, did you ever try to drive a 

 hard-bitted horse with one hand and hold in two 

 crates weighing about a ton each, and laden with 

 shifting ballast in the shape of agile and wildly 

 terrified turkeys ? It is a trick, let me tell you. I 

 covered the distance between the station and my 

 house in several seconds less than the record, and 



