TALES OF GRAMP 131 



player by name, and every college and inter- 

 scholastic football player by heart. 



Gramp, on the other hand, while not knowing 

 the difference, except in taste, between burdock 

 and pie-plant, or between smart- weed and spinach, 

 was an enthusiast in farming. He scoffed loudly 

 at modern sports, and told most astonishing 

 tales about his proficiency in all sports when a 

 young man. 



They used to sit under a large elm tree in front 

 of my house, and smoke and tell stories, and 

 they usually had a crowd of eager listeners. 

 Perhaps the following narrative may best express 

 their style of oratory and the strength of their 

 imagination. 



It was one day in the fall when Dick with half 

 a dozen student friends had come in great glee 

 from witnessing a game at the Academy Campus, 

 and as usual Gramp had a story ready. 



"Gee! Gramp," said Dick, "you ought to 

 see one of these games. Our backs just ripped 

 holes through their line that you could have 

 driven an ox-team through. We beat 'em seven- 

 teen to nothing. One collar-bone broken and 

 two ankles wrenched. That's playing, I tell you, 

 Gramp." 



" Hm ! " said Gramp, removing his pipe and 

 crossing his legs, "I guess you never saw a real 

 game of football, Dick. Say, Daniel, did you 



