AMATEUR THEATRICALS 183 



Seed. What yer say tu spoons. Seems thet's what 

 they be. 



Temp. Just the things. Two lovely wooden spoons. 

 Show me the best and cheapest. (Opens reticule.} 



Seed (diving into corner, finds spoons . with difficulty, 

 dusts tfiem, blows on them, and wipes them on his trousers) . 

 There, ye kin hit an awful lick with one of them. When 

 them tew love-birds gits inter a scrap it's a good thing to 

 hev suthin' handy. 



Temp, (scornfully) . I would n't be sinnatin' sich 

 things. Ennyway, I'll take these two. 



Seed (sarcastically). One '11 be cheaper, and them 

 love-birds kin eat outer one, (aside) for a while. 



Temp. Thanks. Five cents. (Pays, perks, and de- 

 parts.) 



Seed (peering from window, soliloquizing). Well, here 

 comes old Hen Peck'n' his wife, drivin'. Well, Hen he was 

 a love-bird onct. Don't look like it naou. 'Member how 

 tarnal soft they wuz ; et from the same plate at sociables, 

 'n' drinked from the same glass at picnics, 'n' naou old Mis' 

 Peck won't let poor old Hen set to the table, 'xcept when 

 they is company. 



Hen Peck (entering) . Howdy, Tim. 



Seed. Howdy, Hen. Pretty good day for the time of 

 the year. What yer goin' to buy to-day? 



Hen. Nothin' much. Want some kind of a weddin' 

 present. Suthin' cheap. 



Seed. Won't Mis' Peck come in ? 



Hen. No, she's bad with the rheumatiz. 



Seed. What kind of a present do ye want ? 



Hen. Wall, rat pizen er Paris green's the best thing 

 for both on 'em. 



