AMATEUR THEATRICALS 185 



Pans '11 git suthin' good. I got two dollars 'n eighty cents, 

 'n' I don't keer fer no expense nor nothin'. 



Pansie (very modestly) . How much are bread-boards ? 



August, Bread-boards nothin', Pans; git 'em some 

 napkin-rings or a pipe, or pen-wiper, er suthin' useful. 



Pansie. I want them to keep what I give them, and 

 use it too, and I don't know anything more useful than a 

 good bread-board. I'll buy a bread-board and you can buy 

 whatever you want. How much is this bread-board, Mr. 

 Seed? 



Seed. Twenty-five cents, Pansie, and it '11 wear- 

 Sound 'n' solid, just like you, Pansie. Hope I '11 hear about 

 your gettin' married soon, Pansie. 



Pansie (with a l^-carat, three-ply, home-made blush). 

 Oh, thank you, Mr. Seed, I guess you need n't fear that 

 of me. (Pays and exit.) 



Seed. Whot's the matter with you young fellers, August, 

 lettin' that gal escape ? Where 's yer eyes ? 



August. Dumpy, not my style. A feller likes a girl 

 with a little go, a little style. One ye know that can trot 

 in quick time. Naou thet bread-board shows just what she 

 is. Fancy a girl with any go to her giving a bread-board 

 for a weddin' present. Naou, I don't 'ntend to spare no 

 expense, but I want suthin' stylish. Naou, a feller likes a 

 good pipe. A good briarwood. That one '11 do. Twenty 

 cents ? All right. Kinder high for a briarwood, but I never 

 consider expense when I buy weddin' presents. Naou the 

 picter. Naou that's style, that's finish, thet there picter 

 means suthin'. (Handles with tJie appreciation of a con- 

 noisseur the most frightful print imaginable. Buys print.) 

 There, bread-board be hanged ; I like some style to a pres- 

 ent. When I get ready to. settle down it '11 be with some one 



