AMATEUR THEATRICALS 189 



Old Lady Snapdragon. Can't yer let us have a corpse 

 one that has been returned two or three times, for twenty 

 cents ? They 'd never know the difference. 



Seed (bellowing) . No, madam ; the last one was re- 

 turned from a man who had bronical bronchitis, and that 's 

 ketchin' as thunder. 



(Pay grumpily and exeunt.) 



[Enter HUNGARIA N. GRASS, her husband, OAT GRASS, 

 local Justice of the Peace, and JOHNNY JUMP UP, son of 

 HUNGARIA, a little red-headed boy. 



Johnny. O Ma, want stick er candy. Can I have it, 



can I, Ma ? an' some juju paste ; can I, Ma ? You said I 



could. 



[Pulls down barrel of brooms, which in turn brings down 

 tin boiler, lamp and other things. HUNGARIA picks up 

 JOHNNY, boxes his ears soundly, and hands him over to 

 OAT GRASS, who larrups him with his cane. Where- 

 upon HUNGARIA relents, pusfos OAT GRASS into an open 

 barrel, where he sticks. She clasps JOHNNY to her bosom 

 and pats his head. SEED pulls OAT GRASS from tJie bar- 

 rel with difficulty just as POPPY GRASS, their daughter, 

 enters. 

 Poppy (short dress, bead necklace, hair in two pig-tails, 



chewing gum and talking as she chews) . Say, Ma, I 



want some candy, too. Johnny got some, can't I, Ma ? 



[General discussion between members of the family before 

 the matter is finally adjusted by giving her what sJie 

 wants. While the children are quieted, HUNGARIA asks 

 the price of a chopping -tray.] 

 Oat Grass. Jest the thing, Hungaria, most convenient 



things I ever saw. We kin chop up mince-meat, 's neat 's 



