NEIGHBORHOOD NUISANCE 209 



At the first sign of foreign invasion I would, 

 and fully intended to, reach down from the wall 

 over the fireplace the old musket and the powder 

 horn that my great-grandfather might have 

 shouldered in the Revolution, had he been patri- 

 otic enough to attend that little festivity, and 

 sally forth as did our sires at old Thermopylae. 



Did the boys from other and alien neighbor- 

 hoods invade with snowballs, green apples, or 

 brickbats, I would send my first-born to do bat- 

 tle, urging him not to come back but upon his 

 shield. Did the young ladies of our neighbor- 

 hood vie with the Court-Streeters, the Front- 

 Streeters, or with similar young ladies from other 

 quarters of the town, I would cheer hoarsely for 

 our side and contribute lemonade, pickled limes, 

 slate pencils, and other delicacies peculiar to 

 very young ladies. 



Did the Decoration Day parade propose any 

 other route of parade than through our street, I 

 would fight their modest appropriation until they 

 acquiesced in the observance of our time-honored 

 rights. Did the street commissioner run his snow- 

 plough over Elliott, Grove, Linden, or Court 

 Street before our street, I would have some- 

 thing to say in relation to that anxious, unhappy, 

 and much-badgered gentleman's reelection. 



In short, I had come to Pine Street prepared 

 to cast my lot with the Pine-streeters, to espouse 



