218 THE SEA 



'get my traps below/ Scarcely was the order complied with, and myself introduced to 

 the midshipman's berth, than I overheard -Jack grumbling at the magnitude of my equip- 

 ments. ' This Lord Cochrane's chest ? Does Lord Cochrane think he is going to bring 

 a cabin aboard ? Get it up on the main-deck ! ' 



"This order being promptly obeyed, amidst a running lire of similar objurgations, 

 the key of the chest was sent for, and shortly afterwards the sound of sawing became 

 audible. It was now high time to follow my property, which, to my astonishment, had 

 been turned out on the deck Jack superintending the sawing off one end of the chest 

 just beyond the keyhole, and accompanying the operation by sundry uncomplimentary 

 observations on midshipmen in general, and on myself in particular. 



" The metamorphosis being completed to the lieutenant's satisfaction though not at all 

 to mine, for my neat chest had become an unshapely piece of lumber he pointed out the 

 ' lubberliness of shore-going people in not making keyholes where they could most easily 

 be <rot at/ viz., at the end of a chest instead of the middle !" Lord Cochrane took it 



o ^ y 



easily, and acknowledges warmly the service Jack Larmour rendered him in teaching him 

 his profession. 



Later, Lord Cochrane, when promoted to a lieutenancy, was dining with Admiral 

 Vandepat, and being seated near him, was asked what dish was before him. " Mention- 

 ing its nature/' says he, " I asked whether he would permit me to help him. The 

 uncourteous reply was that whenever he wished for anything he was in the habit of asking 

 for it. Not knowing what to make of a rebuff of this nature, it was met with an inquiry 

 if he would allow me the honour of taking wine with him. ' I never take wine with 

 any man, my lord/ was the unexpected reply, from which it struck me that my lot was 

 cast among Goths, if no worse." Subsequently he found that this apparently gruff old 

 admiral assumed some of this roughness purposely, and that he was one of the kindest 

 commanders living. 



In 1798, when with the Mediterranean fleet, ludicrous examples, both of the not 

 very occasional corruption of the period, and the rigid etiquette required by one's superior 

 officer, occurred to Lord Cochrane, and got him into trouble. The first officer, Lieutenant 

 Beaver, was one who carried the latter almost to the verge of despotism. He looked after 

 all that was visible- to the eye of the admiral, but permitted " an honest penny to be 

 turned elsewhere." At Tetuan they had purchased and killed bullocks on board the 

 flagship, for the use of the whole squadron. The reason for this was that the hides, being 

 valuable, could be stowed away in her hold or empty beef-casks, as especial perquisites to 

 certain persons on board. The fleshy fragments on the hides soon decomposed, and rendered 

 the hold of the vessel so intolerable that she acquired the name of the " Stinking Scotch 

 ship/' Lord Cochrane, as junior lieutenant, had much to do with these arrangements, 

 and his unfavourable remarks on these raw-hide speculations did not render those interested 

 very friendly towards him. One day, when at Tetuan, he was allowed to go wild-fowl 

 shooting ashore, and became covered with mud. On arriving rather late at the ship, he 

 thought it more respectful to don a clean uniform before reporting himself on the quarter- 

 deck. He had scarcely made the change, when the first lieutenant came into the ward- 

 room, and harshly demanded of Lord Cochrane the reason for not having reported himself. 



