There it is agin & this time it ain't so tinny. The forrist is 

 on fire! Off el thot! 



Gentul reeder did you ever notis that a fire starts in a 

 smawl way & grows rapidly, like a grosery bill? This minnit 

 you cood put it owt with a wet sock; the next, the hull fire 

 department of Noo York coodent git there too kwik. Fire is 

 like the Keely Kure it must be took in time. 



Let us reeturn to owr Forrist Ranjer hoo we left saying 

 "Ah." He is saying sumthing else now. With the seelerity 

 that comes of mutch praktiss & kareful peroosal of the Servis 

 Reggylashuns he has grabbed up his saddel & bridel & axe 

 & spaid & ho & a few other hully nessesserry yootensils. 

 Then he drops them awl in a heep. He shaiks his fist at a 

 immajinnery objikt in the far distunc'e & several degrees 

 south of east of his solliterry cabbin, & he lifts up his voice 

 on hi. 



What is he saying? Let us lissen. He speex of a fire ait 

 (8) miles away a fire that you cood cover with a Merry 

 Wido hat. He speex of ait miles that are strate up or strate 

 aown, windfall timber, rox and brush, with no rodes better 

 than a deer trale. He tawks of the tellyfone lines that he 

 askt for and dident git, whitch wood have spred the alarm 

 & brot help in his owr of nede. But lowder than all, he tawks 

 of a buntch of dam-fools in Washington hoo think Forrist 

 Ranjers aut to eckonymize by locating kloas to the trolly 

 lines & dooing there tellyfoning from the korner drugstoar. 



It is moarning. A klowd of smoak huvvers over the seen. 

 What is that fearful voice of wo, at the sownd of whitch the 

 mountin beests krowch & shivver? It is the WALE OF THE 

 FORRIST RANJER. He coodent git to the fire! 



This stoary is not copy-ritted. Enny publik-spirrited cit- 

 tizen has an invite to reeprint it in pamflet or sirkuler form 

 & send saim to members of Kongress, short chanje artists, 

 inmaits of staits institooshuns hoo ware striped kloas, etc. 

 &so4th. The appropryashun for the Forrist Servis has been 

 redoosed a hull milyun (1,000,000) dollers ($) & the Upper 

 House still to heer from. It is campane yeer the pollyti- 

 shuns need the munny. They need it mity bad & if sum of 

 them don't git it now they won't have an uther chance. 



It has been the rewl to promis the Forrist Servis five mil- 



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