70 



THE AMERICAN BEE-KEEPER. 



March 



take the uor.ii ro id, v,h.Je in re:.] ly 1 ■ 

 weut by the sraith Thus the policemaii 

 hoped to meet him yet I promised t) 

 keep a lot.kcnt, ami the of!ic!er ^\eut en 



Whei! I reached Thuu and came tu 

 the place \Yhe?o I got the bicycle, I 

 fouwd the man was in Interlaken, sud 

 his wife, who knew all about the ret 

 bery, was amazed tq see the tbief re- 

 turn the machine and iDlace 5 francs rr'i-:: 

 his thanks on the coun'er. 



I regret to f^ay that the apparent hov- 

 esty of this act-on did not commend i" 

 self to the authorities. They looked c:i 

 it as the ruse of a crafty scoundrel, \.\S' 

 realized that, so vigilant were the po- 

 lice, it was impossible for him to es- 

 cape, and so endeavored to throw dust 

 in the eyes of the wise men of the place. 

 I therefore had 1 3 pay the expenses cf 

 the chtiee and apologize to everybody 

 concerned. 



Thus the bicycle, at 5 francs a day, 

 was not so cheap as I had at first sup- 

 posed. — Luke Sharp in Detr.oit Free 

 Press. 



An Attentive Gallant. 



Among the audience at one of the 

 popular theaters wp.vq a young man and 

 a young woman who appeared to be 

 either newly married or on the verge of 

 it. The young man was as attentive as 

 he could be, and the young woman, who 

 wore all the earmarks of a spoiled child, 

 took all his little kindnesses as a matter 

 of course. Between the first and second 

 acts the courteous gallant whispered to 

 his fair one for a moment, and she nod- 

 ded her hdad affirmatively. The youi:;; 

 man arose and went out of the thea'er 

 through a door leading to an adjoin ii!;; 

 candy store. He returned a few minutes 

 later accompanied by a colored boy i:i 

 white coat and apron, who carried in 

 one hand a tray with a glass of soda 

 water upon it and in the other a napkin. 

 He stood in the aisle while the young 

 man besouglit h:s lady to refresh herself 

 with the glass of soda. The eyes of the 

 entire audience were upon them. The 

 young woman sniffed at the glass dis- 

 dainfully and waved it aside. A face- 

 tious youngster in the front row of the 

 gallery ruthlessly fractured the prevail- 

 ing silence with the suggestion: "Slap 

 'er on de 'rist, de sassy t'ing. Get 'er 

 some shampy. She don't want none o' 

 yer temp'rance drinks." The young 



man blushed and sat down and looked 

 miserable during the rest of the play.— 

 Philadelphia Record. 



An Old Love Lietter. 



The following love letter, written by 

 a Kentuckian in his youth, and bearing 

 date in 1823, may be of use to some of 

 our more modern but less effusive and 

 tropical lovers, as an example in erotic 

 epistolary correspondence : 



My Dear and Adorable Polly— As the 

 heavens yield gloomy aspects, making null 

 and void my timidical feelings, I sit down to 

 promulgate to you, most holy and immaculate 

 virgin, that I hold a kind of biennial reverence 

 for your most sacred charms, but owing to the 

 1 intense frigidity of the circumambient atmos- 

 tphere it has discomboborated my respiration 

 like a ship tossed on the tumtiltuous ocean in 

 sight of the delightful land and then tossud 

 back again. Oh, if there is any tender pity 

 lies within that snowy bosom, delay my raging 

 passion, or I shall doubtless pass out of this 

 world in a hu.rricane of sighs to that sweet 

 elysian which gives dreams of consolation to 

 heal lovesick hearts. Your fond adorer, etc. 



It may reduce the percentage of ro- 

 mance to state that the writer died an 

 old bachelor about 20 years ago. — New 

 York Sun. 



Royal Etiquette. 



On one occasion Queen Victoria, Lonis 

 Philippe and the Duke of Wellington 

 paid a visit to Eton college. They were 

 invited to sign the visitor's book. The 

 French king thoughtlessly took up the 

 pen and signed his name at the top of 

 the page. Etiquette, however, forbade 

 Queen Victoria to sign her name under 

 any other. She therefore signed on the 

 top of the next page. She then took np 

 the pen and handed it to the Duke of 

 Wellington, who was so excited at the 

 contretemps that he actually signed his 

 liame"Weg£,'ington. " And, by the way, 

 it maybe i-ecorded that etiquette forbids 

 the queen to converse with tradesmen. 

 When a purveyor waits upon her, the 

 queen addresses her remarks to an 

 equerry, who in turn addresses the ex 

 pectant merchant.' — Philadelphia Times. 



No Danger. 



"My dear," said young Mrs. McFlim- 

 eey to her husband, "I do wish you 

 would not go about the house in your 

 shirt sleeves. People will think your fa- 

 ther worked for a living." 



"They won't when they know his 



