18<)G. 



THE AMERICAN BEE-KEKPEB. 



77 



Glad to See Him. 



Now luembcri: of uoii};ies.s feel shy and 

 loiiesou^e. To be thrust snddei)]y in 

 aniouj; almost 400 nieuihers, many of 

 whom they have never seen, and only a 

 few of whom they have ever heard of, 

 is rather a trying experience. To make 

 a speech under these conditions takes 

 some courage. James Kerr, ex-meniber 

 of congress from Pennsylvania, recently 

 told of his experience in going into con- 

 gress for the lirst time. He came down 

 from Pennsylvania raw and green. He 

 sat in his seat for several days, and in 

 that time managed to pick up a formal 

 speaking ac(iuaiutance with one or two 

 of his neighbors. Cue day he was sitting 

 in his seat, disconsolate, listening to the 

 reading of some tiresome bill, when the 

 member who sat next to him, who had 

 served two terms, came in like a breeze 

 and said cheerily: 



"Hello. Jim. " 



Mr. Kerr wheeled in bis chair and 

 said eagerly : 



"Say that again, will you, old man? 

 It sounds like home." 



"Well, Jim, let's go down to Murray- 

 ville and talk about home." 



The reference to Murrayville is unin- 

 telligible to the outsider, but Mr. Kerr 

 had learned by that time that the name 

 referred 1o the house restaurant, where 

 oysters and the cup that cheers were to 

 be had. and they wended their way 

 down stairs. — New York Tribune. 



pUJlert up ;Jiif5t outside the scene. 



This is considered generally to be the 

 most effective of all the hoof beat ma- 

 chines. — Now York Herald. 



Making tlie Sound of Hoof Beats. 



In these days of war plays and stage 

 realism the sound of hoof beats is worked 

 into pretty uearlj' every melodrama. 

 Very few people know how the effect is 

 produced, and very few, too, could make 

 the noi.'-e right even if they had the ap- 

 paratus. It takes quite a lot of practice 

 to be a good "horse," as it is called. 

 The necessary outfit consists of a table 

 on which is a long marble slab covered 

 with rxibber graduated from an inch 

 thick down to the thinness of a piece of 

 paper. The operator has strapped to 

 each hand half a cocoanut shell, on the 

 edge of which is fastened a horseshoe. 

 He starts in pounding them on the thick 

 rubber to imitate hoof beats in the dis- 

 tance and gradually works along to the 

 thin i)art as they are supposed to come 

 nearer, and finally ends up with a clat- 

 ter on the bare stones as the horse is 



And Tlien He Proposed. 



There had been a brief interval of si- 

 lence, and he felt that be ought to say 

 something. 



"I see that the students of sociology 

 have figured it out," he began, "that 

 education" — 



He paused as if in doubt whether he 

 ought to proceed. 



"Yes?" she said encouragingly. 



— "that education is having a bad ef- 

 fect upon matrimony, " he continued; 

 "especially the education of women." 



"I never did believe in too much ed- 

 ucation," said she softly. 



She waited for him to speak, but he 

 said nothing, 



"I'm glad I never knew my lessons, 

 anyway," she added. 



Some men are slow to take a hint, 

 but they are quick to understand when 

 they are hit with an ax. 



He saw the point. — Chicago Post. 



A S?(tory of Hassom. 

 The Washington Post tells a story il- 

 lustrating the politeness of Minister 

 Ransom. One day, when he was in tbe 

 senate, as he was going down the Cap- 

 itol steps, he saw approaching a very 

 dull, long winded man. Ransom was 

 alarmed. He was in no mental or phys- 

 ical shape to bear tbe brunt of a full 

 fledged bore just at that moment. He 

 must do something to save himself. As 

 the dull one drew near. Ransom, in bis 

 desperation, greeted him with short- 

 ness and hurried by. The other had 

 paused, but at this brief dismissal, as it 

 were, turned away up the steps. Ran- 

 som was smitten of conscience at his 

 own rudeness. It was foreign to his po- 

 lite and flowery instincts. He must do 

 something to take the soreness out of 

 the man. Ransom turned pleasantly 

 when some ten steps separated him from 

 the bore and called out: "Goodby, 

 Simpkins ! I've been thinking a mighty 

 heap about you lately, Simpkins!" At 

 this Simjikins began to betray symp- 

 toms of returning. "But don't come 

 back, Simpkins," remonstrated Ran- 

 som, wildly motioning with both hands. 

 "I've been thinking a mighty heap 



