1896. 



77//'.' AVFIffdAjY BFV.KI<'F}>I-J{ 



335 



"Not iu(\ " 



"You havo heard of" — 



She pointed iu the direction of tiio 

 gondolier. 



"AH I want to. " 



"He's really making a big nauio in 

 the house, j'ou know. I watch his ca 

 reer with great interest." 



"Thinks a jolly lot of liipself. " 



"Oil, I think a lot of him, too," re- 

 marked Lady Stapleluirst pleasantly. 

 "And is that a jimmy sticking out of 

 your jacket pocket? This is, indeed, 

 realism. You don't know how it works, 

 I suppo.se?" 



"Well, I've got a kind of a hidea, " 

 Baid Mr. Apps. "Look 'ere. You put 

 this cud in and" — 



Mr. ApiJS found himself getting quite 

 excited in the explanations that h« 

 gave. It was a new sensation to meet 

 one who sliowed an intelligent interest 

 in his profession, and he conkl not help 

 feeling flattered. Looking up, he saw 

 the gondolier gazing at him. 



"He don't look 'appy, that chap," 

 Baid Mr. Apps. 



"Will you excuse me for one mo- 

 ment?" 



"Wot are you going up to, miss?" ho 

 paid apprehensively. 



"I want to speak to him." 



"Oh," with relief, "I don't mind 

 that." 



While Lady Staplehurst was making 

 the gondolier resume his ordinary ex- 

 pression Mr. Apps thought and thought. 

 The couples promenading after the 

 waltz looked curiously at him. 



"It's the rummicst show yon was ev- 

 er in, 'Enery, " said Mr, Apps. "You're 

 a 'avin 'em on toast, you are, but you'll 

 be glad to get upstairs again. You want 

 them diamonds, that's wot you want. 

 Time means money to you, 'Enery. " 



Lady Staplehurst hurried toward the 

 doorway. A murmur of amusement 

 went through the room as the guests 

 saw a new arrival in the costume of a 

 police constable accompanied by a man 

 in plain clothes. Mr. Apps, thinking 

 over his exploits, gazing abstractedly at 

 his boots, and regretting their want of 

 polish, did not see them until the plain 

 clothes man tapped him on the shoulder. 



"What! Apps, again?" exclaimed the 

 man. 



"Yus, " said the burglar discontent- 

 edly. "Yus, it is Apps agiue, Mr. 



Walker. And vurry glad you are to see 

 him, I've no daht. " 



' 'Always a jdeasure to meet a gentle- 

 nian like you," said Mr. Walker cheer- 

 fully as he conducted him to the door- 

 Way. "I've wanted to run up against 

 fou before." 



Muc'h eoniniotion in the ballroom at 

 the diverting little scene. General agree- 

 ment that Lady Staplehurst was a per- 

 fect genius at entertaining. 



"But, loveliest girl, "said the gon- 

 dolier confidentially to Lady Staple- 

 hurst, "isn't this carrying a joke rather 

 too far? That's a real detective." 



"I know," said the loveliest girl, 

 trembling now a little. "That's a real 

 burglar too. " 



"A real"— 



"Yes, yes. Don't make a fuss. I 

 don't want the dance spoiled. Take me 

 down to supper, like a good fellow."— 

 London Tit-Bits. 



Sprees at a Church Festival. 



It is a custom of the country in Ger- 

 many to get drunk at the consecration 

 of a new church. This custom has been 

 regarded as unlovely and un-Christian 

 by nuiuy influential Germans of the 

 new school, most notably by Emperor 

 William II, but still it remains unre- 

 formed, and the comic weeklies do not 

 tire of depicting the scenes in and out 

 of the police court that follow the con- 

 secration sprees and fights. Some time 

 ago the festival of a new church was 

 celebrated in Oberriugelheim, in the 

 Rhine country. In anticipation of the 

 usual trade in exhilarating liquors a 

 saloon keeper who does business near 

 the sacred edifice advertised thus in the 

 Rhiuelaud Observer: 



Jacob Muller herewith pledges himself for a 

 subscriptiou price of 3 marks (75 cents) to 

 serve every one of his guests with as much 

 ■wine as he can drink on the occasion of the 

 church consecration. 



Inviting my friends and patrons to visit 

 me in response to this request, I remain re- 

 spectfully yours, Jacob Muller. 



Within an hour after the newspaper 

 containing this advertisement appeared 

 89 citizens of little Oberriugelheim 

 bought subscription tickets from Mul- 

 ler. At the current price of ordinary 

 loose wine iu the Rhine country each 

 of the 39 and their colleagues in this 

 speculation had to drink 16 large glass- 

 fuls before he could begin to benefit by 

 the subscription tariff. — New York Sun. 



