Perfide Albion 



I explained to him that it was for himself^ not any " effets 

 suppositjfs "; and consoled him with the reflection that the 

 most Spartanesque traveller must at least carry a body 

 about with him ; and it ought not to vex his spirit having 

 to pay twopence for so important a vehicle, for, after all, 

 twopence was not a heavy ad valorem duty. 



I met him again on deck. He was a hard-featured, 

 weather-beaten man. One of his eyes opened wider than 

 the other, with a ludicrous, half-fierce, half-bewildered 

 expression. His shirt was curiously dirty, even by the 

 light of the fusee with which he lit a cigarette I made for 

 him to calm his nerves. He approved of the Exhibition, 

 and said he had occupied himself in it going "p et la pour 

 voir ce qu'il y avait de curieux ; car le pays riest pas amusant." 

 He could not speak a word of English, and had the impres- 

 sion that everybody wanted to cheat him. 



There is a theory wherein the wisdom of our ancestors is 

 supposed to dwell, that much virtue lies between the sheets 

 of a bed, and that at all hazards travellers should undress 

 before they attempt to sleep. To me it would appear that 

 there is neither comfort nor amusement in the taking off 

 and putting on of garments (unless these functions are 

 intercalated by a satisfactory means of general ablution, 

 which on a steamer is not the case), but much the 

 contrary. 



Again, where the beds are cofllins, and the sheets about 

 the breadth and texture of long-towelling, there is a diffi- 

 culty in keeping the narrow strip of bedclothes balanced 

 on one's knees and shoulders. The coarse sheets, especially, 

 show a strong constitutional tendency to revert to their 

 proper destination, converting themselves into tightly- 

 twisted cables, and writhing themselves round their victim, 

 who, if he be a person of classical imagination, dreams he is 



42 



