CONCLUSION. 339 



to be restoring him. He could walk about in 

 the field at the back of the house. 



" Suddenly I went down as if I had been 

 shot. All the improvement was lost, and now 

 I have been indoors three months, steadily 

 becoming weaker and more emaciated every 

 day. It is, in fact, starvation. They cannot 

 feed me, try what they will. No one would 

 believe what misery it is, and what extreme 

 debility it produces. The worst of all is the 

 helplessness. Often I am compelled to sit or 

 lie for days and think, think, till I feel as if I 

 should become insane, for my mind seems as 

 clear as ever, and the anxiety and eager desire 

 to do something is as strong as in my best 

 days. There is an ancient story of a living 

 man tied to a dead one, and that is like me; 

 mind alive and body dead. I fear that my 

 old friends will give me up in time, because I 

 cannot travel the path of friendship now, and 

 the Cymric proverb says that it soon grows 

 covered with briars." 



A letter, dated June 19, 1886, is too sad to 



222 



