REMINISCENCES OF SONEPORE. 187 



tion amongst Baboos. As regards Exhibit C. I am quite of 

 Professor Darwin's opinion. Exhibit D is a term of endear- 

 ment. So you will see that I'm a martyr to the T.S.R. 

 Inquisition. However, I'm going to run the Gasper in my 

 interests, and all he asks is drinks, because addressing a jury 

 is provocative of thirst. He won't touch Macgavin. These 

 barristers of superior calibre never look at anything but 

 Ayala. This necessitates a sale of property, and as Messrs. 

 Balmer, Lawrie & Co. won't give tick for advertisements, I 

 hereby give notice that I've got a set of English harness in 

 perfect order, a Boyce and Rogers' ylb. steeplechase saddle, 

 and half a bottle of Gout Pills for sale Rs. 100 the lot. I 

 shan't have any use for the two former in Alipore unless they 

 let me out for the Calcutta Grand Annual, and the jail diet 

 don't run to gout. BERTIE THE WRITTED. 



On the day the case was fixed the Mozufferpore Police 

 Court was crowded with Europeans to see the fun, and 

 Bengali Baboos mustered in hundreds. The Railway employed, 

 a pleader to prosecute, Bertie defended himself, making use 

 chiefly of the absurd arguments quoted in his letter to Harry. 

 Poor Tute, the Magistrate, who, like all Irishmen, had a keen 

 sense of the ludicrous, was obliged to keep his eyes on the 

 desk to refrain from exploding with laughter ; as for the Euro- 

 peans in court, it was useless trying to restrain their cachina- 

 tions. At last Tute said, " There, that will do Mr. Short, your 

 intention to annoy and insult is too evident ; you are fined ten 

 rupees." But now came the best part of the story, fiddling 

 about in his pockets Bertie said, " I'm very sorry Sir, but I've 

 left my purse on the piano at home, would you very kindly 

 lend me the amount." With a sickly smile Tute turned to 

 his Sheristadar, and told him to give Mr. Short ten rupees, 

 which sum Bertie graciously handed to the clerk, stepped 

 jauntily out of the box, and as he expressed himself, 

 left the court without a stain upon his character ; but Tute 



