WE REACH FORT LARNED 



ter from home/ says Bill, *an' when I asked that 

 old galoot if there was a letter for me, the old fel- 

 low wouldn't look — never even asked me my name 

 — but just says, crabbed like, says he: 'No, nothin' 

 for you/, *Now,' says Bill, Til bet two dollars 

 an' sixty-five cents that there's a letter in there 

 right now for William Shutts, Esquire, from Dres- 

 den, O., but I can't get it.' 



"'Why, man,' says Bob Chambers, 'where've 

 you been all this time that you ain't got acquainted 

 with that estimable old gentleman. Kernel Rich? 

 You ain't onto the combination, that's all. Now, 

 I'll bet you the drinks for the crowd, down at old 

 mother Bangs's, that I'll go in the store an' ask 

 the kernel for a letter, an' although I ain't ex- 

 pecting one, an' would be surprised if I got one, 

 the old kernel'll rush flying 'round behind the 

 counter a-trying to find me a letter. Now, lemme 

 show you how it's done,' sez Bob, a-buttonin' up 

 his jacket an' a-cockin' his fatigue cap up on 

 three hairs. 



"We all followed him into the store to see the 

 performance. The old kernel was pacin' the floor. 

 By a 'left-front-into-line' movement Bob swung 

 himself into position in front of the kernel, halted, 

 come to 'attention,' bringing his heels together 

 with a crack, an' raised his right hand to the peak 

 of his cap as he asked: 'Kernel, is there any letter 

 in the ofl&ce for me, sir.?' 



"Well, say — you ought to have seen the smile 



119 



