1897. 



THE AMERICAN BEE KEEPER. 



57 



ONE WOWAN'S REFORM MOVEMENT. 



I jinks! Sence Mary burnt my pipe 



The worl is kin o' gloomy. 

 I've growed so thin an peakedlike 



Daj'light a'mos' shines th'oo me- 



Mary jes' said: "You've got to quit. 



It's sech a narsty hi^bitl" 

 An then she tuk an burnt my pipe. 



Land, how I eetched to grab it I 



Wut say? My pipe my own? By Jol 

 It's plain you don't know Mary. 



She burnt it nigli er month ergo, 

 Sence w'ich I ain't had nary — 



Waal, no more 'n Jes a puff er two- 

 Land sakesl Don't ever tell! — 



An a pc'p'ujint lawzcnger arterwuda 

 T' kin o' kill the smell. 



Borne day she'll ketch me at it, sure. 



Lord knov.-s wut sbe'll do to mel 

 An so I tri:iible every day. 



Dearsuz! The outlook's gloomy. 



—J. L. Heaton in "The Quilting Bee." 



THE SANDERS GIEL. 



"It maj'be was that romances cornea 

 to pass ou the range when I was thar, " 

 remarked the old cattleman meditative- 

 ly, ' 'but, if so be, I never notes 'em. 

 They shorely gets plumb by me in the 

 night." 



The old gentleman had just thrown 

 down a daily paper, and even as he 

 spoke I read on the turned page the 

 glaring headline, "Romance In Real 

 Life." His recent literature was the 

 evident cause of his reflections. 



"Of course, " continued the old cat- 

 tleman, turning for comfort to his inev- 

 itable pipe and inching his chair more 

 and more into the shade of the porch, 

 "of course at sech epocks as some de- 

 graded sharp takes to dealin double in a 

 poker game, or the kyards begins to 

 come two at a clatter at faro bank, the 

 proceediu's frequent took on what you 

 all might call a hue of romance, an I 

 admits they was likely to get some hec- 

 tic myse'f. But, as I states, for what 

 one would brand as clean strain ro- 

 mance I ain't recallin none." 



"How about those love affairs of your 

 youth?" I ventured. "They must have 

 existed. " 



"Which I don't deny, " replied the 

 old gentleman between puffs — "that 

 back when I'm a colt in Tennessee I 



has my flower scented days. But 1 don't 

 wed nothiu, you notice. An even while 

 I'm ridin an ropin at these yere young 

 female persons whom I has in my mind 

 thar's never no romance to it, onless it's 

 in the fact that they all escapes me, an 

 I never do tie one down once. 



"Thar was one lady for whom I afore- 

 time yearns, which, if I'd done played 

 my hand plumb through, I reckon now 

 I might have roused out a romance or 

 somethin thrillin. I'd been due to get 

 up agin Jim Gale's gun shore. You sees 

 this yere female weds Jim, an I will 

 say he makes the most restless an s'pi- 

 cious married man I ever encounters. 



"But of course I knows my range, an 

 I knows my brand, an as I makes a 

 spechultyof payin no attention to Jim's 

 wife after the nuptials his trail an mine 

 never does cross once. 



"But, spPiikin of love tangles, brings 

 to my memory a story which old San 

 Enright oufurls on to us, the same 

 showin that a woman's fancy is rootless 

 an onstable as a proposition. 



" 'Always copper a female,' says 

 Cherokee Hall one day when Texas 

 Thompson is relatin how his wife mal- 

 treats him an rings in a divorce on him 

 down at Laredo. 'Always play 'em to 

 lose. Nell, yere, now,' goes on Chero- 

 kee as he runs his hand over the h'ar of 

 Faro Nell, who's lookout for Cherokee, 

 'Nelly, yere, is the only one I ever 

 meets who can be depended on to come 

 winner every trip. ' 



" 'Which females,' says old Sam En- 

 right, who's sottin thar at the time, 'an 

 particular young females, is a heap fri\ - 

 olous naeheral. The sight of a rainbow 

 will stampede most of 'em. For myse'f, 

 I'd shorely prefer to try an hold a bunch 

 of 500 ponies on a bad night than ride 

 herd on the heart of one lady. Between 

 us alls, I more'n half figger the fec- 

 tious of a female is migratory, same as 

 buffaloes used to be before they was 

 killed, an sorter goes north in the spring 

 an south ag'in in the winter.' 



" 'As for me,' says Texas Thompson, 

 who's moody touchin them divorce 

 plays his wife is makin down at Lare- 

 do, 'you can gamble I passes all females 

 up. No matter how strong I holds, it 

 looks like on the show downs they out- 

 lucks me every time. Wherefore I quits 

 'em cold, an any gent who wants my 

 chance with females can shorelv have 



