118 



THE AMERICAN BEE KEEPER. 



April 



WHY? 



It happened 'neath the inistletoe 

 Upon a Christmas long ago, 

 And when the resison she would know 

 He closer leaned and whispered low, 

 '•Because, s'.voetlieart, I love you so" — 

 Blue eyes and brown more earnest grow- 

 "Yoia know, dear heart, I love you so." 

 ******* 

 Gone is the Yuletide's cheery glow. 

 In fern lined haunts the violets grow. 

 Again the culprit's head droops low, 

 As swings the lazy hammock slow. 

 "Forgive me, dear, I love you so"l 

 And she forgives, I almost know. 

 Because, you see, he loves her so. 



—Nell Carey in Times-Democrat. 



A MISERABLE WIFE. 



"Yes, professor, I am afraid I shall 

 aave to rent or sell the farm; my wife 

 is so miserable. I cannot carry it on 

 without hiring, and hiring eats up all 

 the profits. " 



I looked at the speaker admiringly. 

 He was about 50 years old, and as ro- 

 bust as a man of 30. His whiskers were 

 neatly trimmed, showing a full, red 

 cheek. He wore a jaunty hat and natty 

 cutaway coat, and below his vest hung 

 a single fob and heavy gold seal. I was 

 proud of him. He was such a perfect 

 specimen of a New York gentleman 

 from the rural districts that I wanted 

 to imprint his picture on my memory. 



"So your wife is miserable?" 



"Yes. Kinder drooping, with a dry 

 cough and no ambition. She just kinder 

 drags around the house and looks so 

 peaked and scrawny it gives me the 

 blues. It does, I sv>^an. " 



"Naturally weakly, wasn't she?" 



"She! Oh, no. When I married her, 

 she was the smartest girl on the creek. 

 She used to work for my father, and 

 the way she made the work stand around 

 took my eye. She was a poor girl and 

 her industry got her a rich husband. " 



Here he took out a gold watch, looked 

 at the time, put it back and adjusted 

 the silk fob on the front of his nicely 

 fitting trousers. 



"So she did well, getting masried on 

 account of her industry?" 



"Why, of course. She was getting 

 only $2. 50 a week, and she became mis- 

 tress of a farm. ' ' 



"Excuse me, but how much are you 

 worth now — confidentially, you know? 



1 am a scientific man and will never 

 use such facts to your injury with the 

 assessor. " 



"Well, professor, I could crowd $50,- 

 000 pretty hard." 



' 'That is good. How long have you 

 been married?" 



"Thirty years next Fourth of July. 

 We went down to Albany on a little 

 teeter, and I proposed the match and 

 Jane was v/illing. " 



' ' How much do you suppose you have 

 made in these 30 year?" 



"Hum — um — lemme see. I got the 

 Davis farm the first ten years, then I 

 run in debt for the Simmons place, got 

 war prices for my cheese and squared 

 up both places. Well, I think I have 

 cleared up $30,000 since we spliced." 



"Very good indeed. And your wife 

 has been a great help all this time?" 



"Oh, you bet! She was a rattler! 

 She took care of her baby and the milk 

 from 20 cows. I tell you she made the 

 tinware flop! Why, we have had four 

 children, and she never had a hired girl 

 over six months in that time." 



' 'Splendid, and you have cleared $30,- 

 000 in that time?" 



"Yes, easy. " 



"Now, how much has your wife 

 made?" 



' ' She? Why, durn it, professor, she is 

 my wife. ' ' 



"I know it. But what has she made? 

 You say she was poor when you married 

 her Now, what has she made?" 



"Why, you beat all! Why, she is my 

 wife, and we own it all together. ' ' 



' ' Do you? Then she can draw on your 

 bank account? Then she has a horse and 

 carriage when she wants them? Then 

 she has a servant girl when she wants 

 one? Then she rides out for her health, 

 and has a watch and gold chain as you 

 do? Is that so?" 



"Professor, you must be crazy. No- 

 body's wife is boss in that shape. Who 

 ever heard of such a thing?" 



"Now, look here. You say she did 

 well in marrying rich, and I cannot see 

 it. If she was getting $2. 50 per week 

 when you married her and had saved 

 her wages, she would have had now 

 $3,600. If she had invested it, she 

 would have had $5,000. Now you tell 

 me she is broken down, used up and 

 miserable, and looks so badly she makes 

 you sick, and she has no money, no help 



