1897 



THE AMERICAN BEE KEEPER. 



379 



$12, is a much cheaper gnu iu the long 

 run tliau the Geriuau luake, which sella 

 at from $5 to $6, as all of those wiio 

 have harl experieuce with theru discov- 

 ered loug aso. " 



Rather Iferscnal. 



"Ladies," said the chairman of the 

 meeting of the Womau's Advanced 

 Thought and Practical Experience club, 

 "this uieeting, I Lelieve, was announced 

 to he a gymposimn on the subject of 

 'Apartment House Nuisances. ' "' 



There was a murmur of assent and 

 approval, and from the W'ay every wo- 

 man in the hall straightened up it was 

 evident that there wasn't cne of them 

 who didn't feel that she had something 

 of importance to say on the subject. 



"I hope, " continued the chairman, 

 "that we will be able to get through 

 this afternoon, but it is unquestionably 

 a most comprehensive subje't, a?id, with 

 your permission, I will undertake to di- 

 vide it so that we can take up one fea- 

 ture at a time. " 



"So loVely!" "Just the thing!" and 

 "How nice!'' came Irom various parts 

 of the hall. 



"I would suggest that we first take 

 up the landlord, as he" — 



Cries of "Mean tliug!" "Promised 

 ns a porcelain tatbtub a year ago!" 

 "Won't paper the hall! ' etc. 



— "is one of the great est of flat build- 

 ing evils. After disposing of him, I 

 think perhaps the janitor" — 



Cries of "Disobligiiig creature!" 

 "Freezes us to death!" "Absolutely in- 

 sulting!" etc. 



— "should claim our attention. We 

 all can speak with deep fef ling en this 

 branch of the subject, and possibly we 

 may f:ud it necessary to limit discussion 

 of it. Then I would suggest that we 

 group children and dcgs" — 



Cries cf "The itts!" "Darlings!" 

 ' ' Dirty creatures ! " " ISI oisy youngsters !" 

 etc. 



— "nnd clce with a discussion of flat 

 building gossips, the n;oi^t troublesome 

 and notorious tf their kind. " 



There was a dead silence as she ceased 

 speaking. The women looked at each 

 other iu a bewildered sort cf way, and 

 then almost as one person they got up 

 and moved toward the door. 



"Personalities should be barred," said 

 one as she angrily marched out. 



"I never was so insulted in all my 

 life," said another. 



And thus the chairman was left alone. 

 — Chicago Post. 



Particularly Patient. 



"Patience, my dear, patience," said 

 Harkins blandly to his wife one morn- 

 ing at the breakfast table when she 

 spoke a tii.-o Luarply to one of the chil- 

 dren for dropping his bread, buttered 

 side down, on the cloth. "You know 

 that accidents will happen, and we were 

 children ourselves once. I'm sure that 

 Bertie didn't mean to — great Jupiter! 

 There gees Plarold's glass of milk all 

 over my new trousers. If I don't — oh, 

 you'd better skedaddle from the table, 

 young man. It beats everything. Get a 

 cloth, somebody, and clean up this mess. 

 It beats thunder that a man can't sit at 

 his own table without being tormented 

 and bespattered as I am every time I try 

 to eat a meal under my roof. Look at 

 these trousers — absolutely and utterly 

 ruined. Just wait till I get hold of that 

 boy. Just wait till I lay hands on him, 

 and I'll teach him how to delibtrately 

 throw a glass of milk over a guinea pair 

 of trousers. Don't tell me that he didn't 

 mean to do it. He came to the table 

 with the intenticn cf doing it, and I — 

 I — well, you'll see what I'll do when I 

 get hold cf Lim. " — Strand Magazine. 



A Cemetery Story From Maine. 

 In a Cj^uaiut old cemetery at Eass Har- 

 bor, Me., lies an aged couple who were 

 noted iu their lile for their piety and 

 their active interest in meetings and 

 other good works. The old gentleman 

 in his exhortation would often speak of 

 wearing the crown, while the old lady 

 often spoke cf blossoming as the rose. 

 After the tombstouts had been erected' 

 at their graves wiih their names and 

 ages duly chronicled thereon there ap- 

 peared cu his tombstcue disiinctly out- 

 lined the figure cf a ciowu, while on 

 hers appeared the Lgr.re of a lull blown 

 rose. The lact is well auiLeuticattd by 

 many people who have visited the cem- 

 etery on purpcse to see this wonderful 

 bight — Leer Itle L.r.zette. 



Missouri ranks first among the states 

 in the production of poul ry and second 

 only to Uhio in the extent of egg prod- 

 uct. 



