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NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



It is natural for us to inquire, what is the basis 

 of opinions and feelings like those expressed by the 

 young ladies referred to? And are such opinions, 

 (which I really think were honestly felt and spo- 

 ken,) correct? 



Is an educated and refined lady degraded by 

 marrying a farmer, merely because he is a farmer? 

 Without hesitation, I reply, she is not, under any 

 equality of circumstances. Let us suppose a case. 

 An intelligent and respectable farmer, (by re- 

 spectable I do not mean fashionable, as many un- 

 derstand the term) looks about him for a wife. 

 From what class shall he choose ? Shall he go to 

 the city and select from the fashionable and the 

 gay? By no means. But shall he take one who 

 will be no sharer of his hopes and fears, his joys 

 and sorrows, but one who will, as I heard a man 

 once remark of his wife, "be a very serviceable 

 companion, " because, forsooth, she will rise be 

 times and do all the "drudgery" and plod on till 

 night ? No — we will give the preference to one, 

 who although she may be educated and refined, 

 knows well that ".worth makes the man." 



And now is there any good reason, why a lady 

 placed in these circumstances, should be considered 

 to have lowered herself a whit beneath her friends, 

 who perchance have married, one a lawyer, and 

 another a merchant ? Let us see wherein the dif- 

 ference consists. We will suppose the farmer pos- 

 sessed of a competency, or in other words, "well 

 off in the world," to use a homely expression, and 

 the lawyer, or merchant, as it may be, similarly 

 situated. Where is the great, the vast difference? 

 "Why of course the farmer's wife has to live in 

 the country — that is reason enough," says one, 

 "her location excludes her from association with 

 the better part of society, who are found in large 

 places." True enough, the farmer and all per- 

 taining to him must live in the country. But does 

 this debar them from mingling with civilized, nay, 

 refined society ? The fact is, Mr. Editor, as I am 

 a farmer's wife, I have abundant evidence, that 

 my city friends do not slight me in summer, nor do 

 they express to me their horror of the farmer's 

 life, nor are their nerves weakened at all, as my 

 house is opened for their inspection. 'Tis true, 

 they do not so much delight to visit us in winter, 

 but all the better for us, it leaves us the opportu- 

 nity of repaying these visits. 



But says one, "It is one thing for us city people 

 to rusticate awhile in the country, and another, 

 and quite a different thing, to be obliged to live 

 there, and do work, farm work." True, but it is 

 also one thing for us to visit you, the merchant's 

 wife, in the city, and another to have the care of 

 your household, for it is vain for any housekeeper 

 who has any proper sense of the obligation resting 

 upon her as such, to plead exemption from care, 

 and even labor, in some degree. You visit us in 

 the country, when nature perchance is clothed in 

 her gayest robes; her beauty, the melody of birds, 

 and the music of the waterfall, allure you to the 

 open fields; this you enjoy, and rightly too, while 

 we are preparing the viands, which, "Alas! you 

 say for your country appetite, soon disappear!" 

 Now when we visit you, we are free to attend to 

 business or amusement as we may choose, while 

 you perhaps are in your kitchen, weary, and dis- 

 heartened, witli your vain endeavors to make your 

 new Trisli girl an accomplished cook. Of course, 

 but few women of any class have any idea of rus- 



ticating the year round. If one's happiness de- 

 pends upon constant interchange of visits, and 

 an unceasing routine of fashionable gaiety, one 

 who lives in the country with these tastes, must 

 either remain ungratified, and unhappy, or her 

 tastes and habits of feeling must change. But 

 gratifications of this sort are by no means an es- 

 sential part of happiness. But a more serious 

 reason, and one which is oftener brought as an ob- 

 jection to the situation of a farmer's wife, is this. 

 In order to discharge her duties satisfactorily and 

 creditably to herself and family, she must do an 

 immense amount of hard work. By the way, this 

 objection is viewed differently by different individ- 

 uals. There are those who look upon all physical 

 labor as degrading, and there are not a few in the 

 community. 



"How singular and unfortunate it is," exclaimed 

 one of this class, not long since, "that Mrs. S., 

 than whom no lady in New Hampshire possesses 

 more true refinement of mind and heart, and more 

 valuable accomplishments, should shut herself up 

 on her farm, and that is not the worst of it; why, 

 she actually, when her friends from D. were vis- 

 iting her last summer, begged them to excuse her 

 an hour in the morning, while she assisted in put- 

 ting a cheese in the press /' ' 



Now persons of this class do not despise labor 

 because of the amount to be performed, or the time 

 required to perform it, but they despise loork, labor, 

 in any form. They have no idea of comfort, worth 

 or happiness, if it is associated with labor. The 

 laborer is contemptible. These same individuals 

 are not always so nice in their distinctions as they 

 might be. They seem to forget, when plucking 

 the tempting peach or plum from the tree, that la- 

 bor planted and reared that tree. 



But they never forget that it is beneath the dig- 

 nity of an accomplished woman to make bread, 

 butter or cheese. One thing, however, is certain, 

 it is not beneath their dignity to eat them after they 

 are nicely made. - 



For my own part, my perceptive faculties are 

 not sufficiently keen to make the nice distinction, 

 why I should be ashamed to say I make the butter 

 and cheese, (provided it is well made,) and proud 

 to say my husband planted and reared the tree, 

 the fruit of which is so delicious to the taste. 



But there are those who sincerely believe, that 

 no class of women in this country, do work so hard 

 as the farmer's wives. That circumstances often 

 require this, it is useless to deny. But that a 

 woman is constantly to work, and have no leisure, 

 because she is a farmer's wife, I do deny. A man 

 who owns a small farm, is not required to hire 

 much help, so that the labor of his wife is not very 

 great. One who owns a larger one, and is required 

 to hire help "out of doors," if he manages as he 

 ought, with economy and skill, will also be able to 

 hire all needful assistance "in doors." Where a 

 man owns a large farm and is still unable to hire 

 all needful help for his wife, we infer that there is 

 an exception, and is not the general rule. Bad 

 management, an avaricious disposition, or anything 

 which tends to increase the burden of the wife, are 

 wrong management somewhere, and this makes 

 not necessarily the result of tilling the soil, but these 

 same habits and traits of character would exhibit 

 themselves in any other situation in life, and of 

 course the result would be the same. 

 Brentwood, N. H., Feb. 12, 1852. 



