198 FACT AGAINST FICTION, 



humbug paid its parents, and pleased the restless 

 minds of ignorant people ; but its folly has become 

 apparent at last. It is not my intention minutely 

 to trace bygone errors ; a few illustrations of follies 

 and an exemplification here and there will suffice 

 for the object I have in view, which is to place 

 before my readers my ^' facts," assigning all 

 Triplett-like fiction to oblivion. 



We all know the round men who got themselves 

 planted in the square holes as regards the Fishing 

 Commission ; not one of the first instigators of the 

 '' salmon-ladders" knew anything of the instincts of 

 the fish with which they professed to deal. The 

 adventurous round men in the square holes knew 

 that they themselves possessed legs (although they 

 might not be very good ones), so they made a 

 ladder of steps for legless fish to tread on, and a 

 species of rat-gap, or hole, on one side of the steps 

 of the ladder, for large, bold, powerful, widely and 

 highly leaping fish to creep through ! And all this 

 on one side of the bed of the river, where no 

 instinct possessed by the salmon would cause it to 

 look for a possible means of ascent. The Com- 

 missioners were very angry when, on viewing the 

 ladder with as serious a face as it was possible for 



