THE BALL. 89 



unanimous than I ever expect to receive from any- 

 church whatever. Moreover, for I wish the true 

 state of the case to be thoroughly understood, I 

 had not made a speech for nearly three weeks. 

 Now, as all my readers know, " making speeches " 

 is about the only lona fide perquisite of the pro- 

 fession. This is the great advantage we have over 

 laymen. The moment you take this away from 

 a clergyman, you rob him of his great prerogative, 

 and he becomes no better than an ordinary man. 

 My clerical readers will, I am sure, sympathize 

 with me in my position. For three weeks I had 

 been of no importance whatever to the world, but 

 here was a chance to do some good ; here, unex- 

 pectedly, an opportunity to make a speech had 

 presented itself. I mounted a pile of cedar slabs, 

 and, trying to feel modest, began : — 



"Dancing, my friends, I remark in the first 

 place, is a very pernicious habit." That was -a 

 good beginning. Even three weeks of constrained 

 and cruel deprivation had not deprived me of my 

 "gift." Pausing a moment to note the effect of 

 my opening sentence upon the audience, I was 

 slightly embarrassed at the sight of Southwick 

 dropping small chips down the neck of Burns's 

 shirt. Eallying in an instant, I resumed : " It has 

 been the means, my hearers, of getting many a 

 ^'oung man into a scrape." Here I paused again. 

 Whatever weakness the first sentence had in it, 



