OLD TIMES AND OLD CHARACTERS 



casion when asked to pray for fine weather, he 

 replied to his clerk : ' ' It's nae use, Tommy, as 

 lang as t' wind's i' this quarter." Once on 

 arriving at the church the members of the con- 

 gregation found the door shut and the clerk 

 mounted on a flat tombstone, calmly announcing 

 " This is to gie notice that there will be nae 

 service i' this church for fower weeks, as t' par- 

 son's best game hen hes setten hersel i' t' pulpit." 

 At Wythburn, near the head of Thirlmere Lake 

 lies one of the smallest churches in England, and 

 on the opposite side of the road stands the Nag's 

 Head Inn. A certain W3^hburn priest had but 

 two sermons which he kept in a crack of the 

 wainscot behind his pulpit. Some wag pushed 

 them down one day out of his reach, and the 

 congregation smiled at the prospect of a shortened 

 service. After fumbling for some time in an 

 attempt to retrieve them, the parson turned round 

 and exclaimed : ' ' Brethren, t' sermons are down 

 t' grike, but I'll read ye a chapter in Job worth 

 baith o' them." Very often the parson — owing 

 to shortage of revenues — had to be boarded with 

 his parishioners in turn. On one occasion the 

 good man was rummaging in a small chest which, 

 among other things, contained his sermons. The 

 old dame who was looking on said : ' ' Thou mun 

 turn 'em ower gaily weel, they're comin' a bit 

 thick," for had not the parson preached the same 

 sermon for three Sundays in succession ! 



A certain Gosforth clergyman went about 

 regularly in hunting cap and breeches, over which, 

 when conducting weddings or burial services, he 

 donned a surplice. The latter garment had more 

 than once been used by the old-time parson for 

 purposes of camouflage when tracing hares in the 

 snow. On Scout Scar, near Kendal, is a spot 



255 



