THE LIFE OF A SPORTSMAN 



infernal old coach, too; for you mio-lit as well attempt to drive 

 four horses from a stool, as from that thing- called a box.' 



Then the old and faithful butler was talked to, much after 

 this fashion, the first time our hero caught him alone in his 

 pantry : — 



' Is your stock of claret low ? ' demanded Frank. 



' Not particularly so," replied the butler. 



' The Squire has got very shy of it, then,' resumed Frank ; 

 ' I was quite annoyed on IMonday, when Sir John Inkleton 

 and those gentlemen dined here ; he never called for it until 

 he had half poisoned them with his " old port," as he calls it, 

 only fit for the steward's room.' 



' It is very dear, you know, Mr. Francis ; at least, such as 

 is drunk in this house; Carbonnell's best. Let me see, nearly 

 £100 the hogshead, or twelve shillings the bottle ; a deal of 

 money, sir, to be swallowed at four glasses ! it's like swallowino- 

 gold, Mr. Francis.' 



' Nonsense,' said Francis ; ' what if it is ? — there is plenty 

 here to pay for it. And the champagne ; how is it we did 

 not have champagne on Monday ? ' ' Lord ! sir,' replied the 

 butler, ' you would not drink champagne in such cold weather 

 as this; it's only fit for the dog-daj's, when you want some- 

 thing to cool you.' ' Well,' said our hero, ' these thino-s must 

 be altered, or few of my friends will come a second time to 

 the Abbey.' 



Next comes Mrs. Jones, the old housekeeper. 



'Upon my word. Mother Jones,' said the young Squire to 

 her, as she was giving out some essentials to tlie cook, 'you 

 are getting very slack, indeed; and as for you,' addressino- 



himself to the cook, ' it is time to put you on the shelf, not 



that you must want for anything for the rest of your life, for 

 you have been an excellent servant. But, Mother Jones, you 

 are really past enduring. Your bills of fare are of the most 

 scanty dimensions, and as for your second courses, you really 

 trive us nothing.' 



' Lord, sir,' replied Mrs. Jones, ' what can I give you, at 



this time of the year, better than you always have ? either 



hare, woodcock, or snipes, as the keeper brings them in, for 

 you know we have no pheasants here, at least very few.' 



'We will soon have plenty,' said Frank; 'but mind this, 



I have two friends coming to visit me next week, and as (Jic 



157 



