distant lands neighboring on the great water where this whaling expedi- 

 tion does business in ships. Do not think me skeptical. I am no 

 Montaigne ; but 1 state plainly, I mislike this manner. It looks theat- 

 rical. Out of this remote water, as I have suggested, they bring no fish. 

 We can all testify that when they fish in streams near at hand they 

 bring no fish ; and without desiring to call in question their veracity, 

 when they tell thrilling experiences with monster pickerel and musca- 

 longes and other finny gentry, "I doubt and fear" (perverted from 

 Burns). They dazzle me with their fine powers of romance. They would 

 have charmed our friend Sir Walter Scott with their powers of inven- 

 tion. However, they lack variety. There are evi- 

 dently about the same size and temper and fight- 

 ing quality of fish in all these distant fish 

 ing grounds. The same struggle besets 

 all these doughty spirits who fight with 

 rod and line. They find no new dragons, 

 but are satisfied with the old ones. Why, 

 Monsieur Athos could have told them a 

 thing The Three Guardsmen were fertile 

 liars, which is a thing I delight in if one 

 attempts that style of art (though I do not praise 

 it. Let us have truth is my motto, which I 

 commend with all heartiness to my many 

 friends after having practiced it for forty to 

 sixty days each year for a year or so). They 

 tell the same story, these truthful fishermen. 

 Besides this, they suborn witnesses (yet I like not the THE SPOILS 

 sound of that word, it seems harsh, though indeed I mean it only in 

 gentle courtesy as a method of expressing the facts); but they return 

 to their neglected home fishless, sunburnt, truculent lest you believe not 

 their fishing reminiscences, and on one occasion brought letters of refer- 

 ence for proof of their valiant exploits from the proprietor of the boats 

 used, from the postmaster, from the hostelkeeper, from the guide, from 

 the cook, and from sundry other functionaries ; but when on discreet 

 investigation (for I am of a stern and unyielding virtue in these mat- 

 ters), it was found that boat owner, postmaster, hostelkeeper, and the 

 remaining witnesses were one and the same man; and on being con- 

 fronted with this stern truth these men thrust each other in the ribs 

 and laughed to tears at the wickedness of their conceits. Such things 



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