24 CASE HISTORIES 



good to me.' ("Have you ever realized that these voices might 

 be your own thoughts?") No, I never think such things or pay 

 attention to people's bodies. It seems very degrading and immoral 

 to me, like the firemen hugging me on board ship. Just now the 

 voice tried to get me to call you a f ellationist. It says I'm guilty 

 of fellatio, and yet I haven't really done it. 



"That fellow, Carhart, seems to influence me to ask some 

 fellow to commit pederasty on me. I'm afraid to go to sleep 

 for fear someone might do it to me. My abdomen feels dead and 

 it pains and is all swollen. I suspect three or four men, the 

 attendant and Garland and Mathews. (He told another patient 

 that I had told him he had a baby inside him. This may explain 

 the pains that were first diagnosed as appendicitis in France.) 

 They try to make my left eye bigger than my right. The voices 

 sometimes tell me not to eat anything, and then if I do start 

 eating my mind goes blank (emotional blocking from resistance 

 to fellatio ideas?). I'm a light eater, chiefly bread and coffee. 

 I vomit fish and greasy things. (Recall Carhart's aversion to 

 fish.) 



" I've had wet dreams of seeing dogs at intercourse. (" Male 

 or female?") Well, perhaps two males, just like you see in the 

 street when they jump each other. You seldom see a male and fe- 

 male doing it, it's usually two males. Yesterday when I was walk- 

 ing near the edge of the grounds a negro grabbed me fearing I was 

 trying to escape. My first thought was that he was a fellationist. 

 I dreamed recently of being at an auction sale of bunches of green 

 bananas. Mother seemed to be there to buy them, though I 

 couldn't see her. 



" My mind can't be at rest. The patients are too near me. 

 They have sucked everything I know out of my mind, all I've 

 been through in my younger days and recently, and now I'm 

 at their mercy. It seems as if other fellows make me a scapegoat 

 for their wrong deeds. They run their minds on me, put ideas 

 into my head like hypnotists. On the Red Cross excursion I was 

 embarrassed and had to hold my head down. I can't keep my 

 mind on anything, but just sit and play like a child." 



General observations: The constant intrusion of unwelcome 

 sexual thoughts kept him worried and unhappy. His face was 



