28 CASE HISTORIES 



him. He answered, "A man wanted to marry me. He called 

 me good looking. He was stronger that I. You look like the 

 man who wanted to marry me." 



On another occasion he indignantly complained that these 

 pimps around here called him a fellationist. A fellow patient 

 told me he sometimes acted as if someone were after him and 

 exclaimed, " I don't care for any old man or anybody who 

 bothers me and does things of that kind." 



He said he either dreamed of nasty sexual acts or of money 

 with which he would buy lots of clothes and things. 



General observations: His most striking feature was a 

 strange, persistent smile, mostly in the eyes, as perplexing as that 

 of Monna Lisa. It could change very quickly into an expression 

 of frank hostility, and at first I was careful when near him, but 

 he never offered violence to anybody. I believe the smile denoted 

 uncertainty and suspicion of other people and an attempt to 

 discern their sentiments. 



A conversation with him was next to impossible. He looked 

 at one most of the time with this impenetrable smile, and though 

 he started many sentences seldom finished one; they usually 

 stopped part way before the meaning became evident. One 

 day I felt that he was trying to divulge something important 

 and was on the edge of doing so several times but couldn't quite 

 decide to take the plunge. He had used the phrase "nice and 

 clean" again and again, "live nice and clean," etc. I suddenly 

 asked, "What about dirty?" "That's all the trouble," he re- 

 plied, " I don't think I ought to live on. I've been sort of 

 married to everybody. I felt dopy and sleepy in the Philippines. 

 Now I feel that way too, sometimes. Nice and clean, independ- 

 ent, nothing annoys me much, live on nice and clean. I get along 

 pretty well." He was very careless of his clothes and often went 

 about with fly unbuttoned and genitals half visible. ( " Why do you 

 do that?") "They ought to look at it." He said fellatio, ped- 

 erasty and masturbation were all dirty, but heterosexual inter- 

 course was clean. This information was slowly and laboriously 

 extracted from him in piecemeal fashion. 



