34 THEOPHOBIA AND NEMESIS 



associated with the conversion of some particular 

 individual. The process was supposed to be 

 effected by the " acceptance of Christ," and 

 though it was said to be free to all, it was clear 

 to some at least of those who quite earnestly and 

 really desired it, that, however ardent their 

 desires, they could not secure their realisation. 

 One was supposed to know in some mysterious 

 manner that one was converted ; the operation 

 was permanent in its character ; it could not 

 be repeated ; once thoroughly effected the con- 

 verted person neither wished to sin nor really 

 did sin. If anyone supposed to have been con- 

 verted did relapse into evil ways, then he never 

 had really been converted, but only seemed to 

 have been. I have heard this circular form 

 of argument urged most strongly by those who 

 were (by constitution apparently) absolutely 

 unable to see the illogical position which they 

 were taking up. A further, and the most awful, 

 part of the teaching was that however much one 

 desired to be converted, and however earnestly 

 one prayed for it, if one died without it damnation 

 was certain. Lastly there was the encouraging 

 thought that everything done prior to conversion 

 was equally without merit; in fact, one might 

 almost say, equally evil. These things were 

 dinned into the heads of the young, in season 

 and out of season ; is it any wonder that so 

 many of them grew up to hate religion ? I 

 remember myself the positive terror with 

 which I went out even to minor entertainments, 

 because I knew that in all probability close 



