40 THEOPHOBIA AND NEMESIS 



brothers were always fond of encouraging this 

 propensity, and I found in Taylor, my maid, a 

 still greater tempter. I had not known there 

 was any harm in it, until Miss Shore " (a Cal- 

 vinistic governess), " finding it out, lectured me 

 severely, and told me it was wicked. From that 

 time forth I considered that to invent a story of 

 any kind was a sin. But the desire to do so was 

 too deeply rooted in my affections to be resisted 

 in my own strength," (she was at this time nine 

 years of age), " and unfortunately I knew neither 

 my corruption nor my weakness, nor did I know 

 where to gain strength. The longing to invent 

 stories grew with a violence ; everything I heard 

 or read became food for my distemper. The 

 simplicity of truth was not sufficient for me ; I 

 must needs embroider imagination upon it, and 

 the folly, vanity and wickedness which disgraced my 

 heart, are more than I am able to express. Even 

 now (at the age of twenty-nine), though watched, 

 prayed and striven against, this is still the sin 

 which most easily besets me. It has hindered 

 my prayers and prevented my improvement, and 

 therefore has humbled me very much." It is 

 narrated of the well-known Father Healy that a 

 young lady having consulted him as to the sin of 

 vanity, she feeling convinced, when she looked 

 in her glass, that she was a very pretty girl, was 

 answered by him, " My child, that is not a sin ; 

 it is a mistake ! " It wanted some wise adviser 

 to make the same remark to this poor tortured 

 and deluded woman. 



Illness under this code was always a punish- 



