THE BREWER AND THE LAWYER. 5S 



ledge 6f the wiles of Charles James Fox — Sir Francis, there, is 

 an example of that sort, who can take the lead in the House 

 of Commons, as well as over the pastures of Leicestershire — 

 egad, sir, rode two of the quickest things we have had this 

 season, only yesterday, with his arm in a sling ! '* 



"Wliy, Conyers!" exclaimed Sir Francis, "you are becom- 

 ing personally offensive to-night — that comes of mixing malt 

 liquor and wine together — and the result is, that you are run- 

 ning riot most wondrously, and require the lash for babbling.'* 



" Ah, very likely, Burnett, the old saying, ' When the wine 

 is in, the wit comes out,' or, rather, in old Horace's version, 

 * The truth comes out.' " 



" Talking of malt liquor,'* said Fred Beauchamp, " puts me 

 in mind of a little scrimmage yesterday, whilst the hounds were 

 running in covert, between that vendor of swipes, Brewer 

 Suction, and Lawyer Dryasdust. The origin of their differences 

 I could not ascertain, but something about a bill of costs ; high 

 words ensued, the lawyer applying some insulting language to 

 the brewer about hog's- wash and tobacco-juice used in his beer. 

 Old Suction's dander was up in a minute, and in return he 

 called Dryasdust a cheating, rascally quill-driver. Ketorts, 

 anything but courteous, followed from both parties, when the 

 brewer's wrath bust forth like the froth from one of his newly- 

 filled beer-barrels, and he rode at the lawyer, double-thong in 

 hand, challenging him to a tournament on horseback, or a fight- 

 on foot. ' Form a ring, gentleman,' cried Farmer Turvill ; ' let 

 'em have it out — I'll back the brewer.' ' Two to one on the 

 lawyer,' shouted Williams, the sporting Vet. ' I'll be bottle- 

 holder,' cried a third. ' Come on,' roared Suction ; ' I'll make 

 thy hide rattle like one of thy villanous parchments.' 



" ' No, gentlemen,' said the lawyer, ' I scorn to touch with 

 my little finger such a low blackguard.' 



" ' Low blackguard am 1 1 ' quoth Suction. * Then take that 

 for thy insolence ; ' with which he dealt Dryasdust such a wipe 

 across the shoulders with his heavy crop, that he made him 

 twist again. ' A fight, a fight,' arose on all sides, * have it out.' 

 ' I won't fight,' screamed the lawyer ; * my weapon is the pen, 

 and I'll bring an action for assault and battery.' *In for a 

 penny, in for a pound,' shouted Suction, and at him he went, 

 laying it on thick and fast, until the lawyer faii'ly bolted, and 

 galloped from the field, the brewer after him, Diyasdust keep- 

 ing a retreating fire of words, with ' heavy damages, bill of costa^ 

 five hundred pounds, d him, iniin him.' " 



