LETTERS. 211 



pine at his dispensations) be fretful under tliem ? I do 

 beseech you, my dear Ben, summon up the Christian 

 within you, and, steeled with holy fortitude, go on your 

 way rejoicing ! There is a species of morbid sensibility 

 to which I myself have often been a victim, which preys 

 upon my heart, and, without giving birth to one actively 

 useful or benevolent feeling, does but brood on selfish 

 sorrows, and magnify its own misfortunes. The evils of 

 such a sensibility, I pray to God you may never feel, 

 but I would have you beware, for it grows on persons of 

 a certain disposition before they are aware of it. 



I am sorry my letter gave you pain, and I trust my 

 suspicions were without foundation. Time, my dear Ben, 

 is the discoverer of hearts, and I feel a sweet confi- 

 dence that he will knit ours yet more closely together. 



I believe my lot in life is nearly fixed ; a month will 

 tell me whether I am to be a minister of Christ, in the 

 established church, or out. One of the two I am now 

 finally resolved, if it please God, to be. I know my own 

 unworthiness ; I feel deeply that I am far from being 

 that pure and undefiled temple of the Holy Ghost, that 

 a minister of the word of life ought to be ; yet still I 

 have an unaccountable hope that the Lord will sanctify my 

 eflx)rts, that he will purify me, and that I shall become 

 his devoted servant. 



I am at present under afilictions and contentions of 

 spirit, heavier than I have yet ever experienced. I think 

 at times, I am mad and destitute of religion. My pride 

 is not yet subdued ; the unfavourable review (in the 

 ]\lonthly) of my unhappy work, has cut deeper than you 

 could have thought; not in a literar}- point of view, but 

 as it aifects my respectability. It represents me actually 

 as a beggar, going about gathering money to put my- 

 self at college, when my book is worthless ; and this with 

 every appearance of candour. They have been sadly 

 misinformed respecting me : this review goes before me 

 wherever I turn my steps ; it haunts me incessantly, and 

 I am persuaded it is an instrument in the hands of Satan 

 to drive me to distraction. I must leave Nottingham. 

 If the answer of the Elland Society be unfavourable, I 



