312 HENRY KIRKE WIIITE's REMAINS. 



I am, however, very well, except as regards the doc- 

 tors ; and yesterday I drove into the country to Saffron 

 Walden in a gig. My tongue is in a bad condition, 

 from a bite which I gave it, either in my fall, or in the 

 moments of convulsion. My nose has also come badly 

 off. I believe I fell against my reading-desk. My other 

 wounds are only rubs and scratches on the carpet. 



I am ordered to remit my studies for a while, by the 

 common advice both of doctors and tutors. Dr Pen- 

 nington hopes to prevent any recurrence of the fit. He 

 thinks it looks towards epilepsy, of the horrors of which 

 malady I have a very full and precise idea ; and I only 

 pray that God will spare me as respects my faculties, 

 however else it may seem good to him to afflict me. 

 Were I my own master, I know how I should act ; but 

 I am tied here by bands which I cannot burst. I know 

 that change of place is needful ; but I must not indulge 

 in the idea. The College must not pay my tutor for 

 nothing. Dr Pennington and Mr Parish attribute the 

 attack to a too continued tension of the faculties. As 

 I am much alone now, I never get quite off study, and 

 I think incessantly. I know nature will not endure 



this. They both proposed my going home, but Mr 



did not hint at it, although much concerned ; and, in- 

 deed, I know home would be a bad place for me in my 

 present situation. I look round for a resting-place, 

 and I find none. Yet there is one, which I have long 

 too, too much, disregarded, and thither I must now be- 

 take myself. There are many situations worse than 

 mine, and I have no business to complain. If these 

 afflictions should draw the bonds tighter which hold me 

 to my Redeemer, it will be well. 



You may be assured that you have here a plain state- 

 ment of my case, in its true colours, without any pallia- 

 tion. I am now well again, and have only to fear a re- 

 lapse, which I shall do all I can to prevent, by a relaxa- 

 tion in study. 



I have now written too much. 



I am very sincerely yours, 



H. K. White. 



