MISCELLANIES. 



KOH THE PTEW KKGLAND FARMER. 



The rriteria of a boautitul cow, according;' to 

 Wilkinson, may be thus expressed. 



She's lon^ in hr.r faco she's fine in her horn, 

 She'il quickly g'el fat. withor.l cake or mm, 

 She's clcai- in iier jaws, and full in Ikt cli nc, 

 Shf's huavj in liauk. and wide in her loin. 



She's bruatl in hor iili?. and Inii": in her rump^ 

 A strait and flni bark, with never a liuinp ; 

 She's wide in her h'ps. ond cahn in her eves, 

 She's fine in her shoulders, and thin in her thighs. 



She's li.s^ht in her jwck and small in her tail, 

 She's wide in herbrea^l.aml good at ilic pad. 

 She's fnif^ in hiM-bone. and silky of skin. 

 She's a Grazior'.s wiihimt. and a Butcher's within. 



TROUT FISHING. 



The foilowino^ apostrophe taken from a poem ascribed to Dr. 

 WoLcoTT, proves him to have been no friend to piscaloiy a- 

 iTiu«e meats. 



Why flicst ihon away widi fear ? 



Trust me, there's notisht ol danger near ; 



I have no wicked hook, 

 /v!l coveied with a slarinor bai'-, 

 Al s ! to tempi thee lotliy fate, 

 And drag Ihec horn the brook. «^ 



Oh ! harmless tenant o( the flood, 

 1 do nni wish to spill thy blood— 



For nature unto thee, 

 Perhaps, hath giv'n a lender wife. 

 And children dear, to sweeten life. 



As it hnih done to me. 



Enjoy th}' strecni, then, harmless fisli 3 

 And, when an angler, for his dish, 



Through ^hmcuy — vile sin ! 

 Atlemitts, a wretch ! to pull thee out. 

 Heaven give the strength, O, gentle tixjut. 



To PULL THr RASCAL IN I 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER, 



courtship, to ascertain her sentiments. For this 

 purpose ho said to her one day — Avith that kind 

 of air and manner whicli means cither jest or 

 earnestness, as you choose to take it — " If I were 

 to ask you whether you arc under matrimonial 

 engagements to any one, v/liich part of your name 

 (No-yesj might I take for an answer ?" 



" The first!" sr^id she in the same tone. 



" And if I were to ask if you were inclined to 

 form such an engagement, should a person offer 

 who loved you, and was not indifferent to your- 

 self; what part of your name might I then take 

 as an answer ?" 



" The lasf." 



".\nd if I tell you that I love you, and ask you 

 to form such an engagement with me ; tlien what 

 part of your name may I take ?" 



" Oil then," replied the blushing girl, " take the 

 whole name, as in such a case I would cheerfully 

 resign it for yours." — [Alb. Chron.] 



.Sept. 5, ISiS. 



mit a flagrant breach of the law of love, and ex 

 pose ourselves to the indignation of Heaven. 



This parleying with tem]»tation is a dangerou? 

 thing. The man who would approach as nearly 

 as possible to the bounds of positive dishonesty, 

 will do well to take heed lest he din iu the State 

 Prison or on the Gallows JV. Y. Observer. 



Hoiiiculiure in an enlarged viciv. — At the annual 

 treat of the Horticultural Society at C'heswick, 

 England, there was a fine display and hearty con- 

 sumption of veal, hams, chickens, jellies, coffee, 

 tea, hock, claret, campajgne, sherry, port — pines, 

 peaches, cherries, grapes, melons, and strawber- 

 ries. The horticultural part was vei-y fmall. The 

 best pines were from the garden of Lord Ellen- 

 borough. It seemed to be generally agreed that 

 much of the fruit had been cultivated away from 

 its rich natural flavor. At a horticultural treat 

 there shoidd be nothing but garden fruits, unless 

 you choose to consider every thing as coming from 

 the earth, as the food for the animals, and the 

 grapes for the wine, &c. But then the ice must 

 be excepted. 



Spontaneous comuustion. The Virginia Erti; 



Press relates an instance of spontaneous combus- i 

 tion in a spit-box which had been filled with saw | 

 dust. The room in which it was jilaeed was i 

 found full of smoke, and the bottom of the box 

 was burnt through. It was satisfactorily ascer- 

 tained that not a spark of fire had been in the 

 room. This incident may account for the burn- 

 ing of saw-mills and carpenter's shops, where 

 moist saw-dust has been swept into a hea]). 



The canvass cover of a cart at Mount Pleasant, 

 Virginia, which had been newly painted, after- 

 wards wet by a sliower and rolled U]), took fire 

 recently and was alnmst entirely consumed, mak- 

 ing a hole likewise through the bottom of the 

 cart. 



Cracking a Pun. — Two Bucks, who were sit- 

 ting over a pint of wine, made up for the deficien- 

 ■cy of port by the liveliness of their wit. After 

 Jiiany jukes had passed, oise of them took up a 

 «iut, and holding it to his friend, "If this nut could 

 f;peak what would it say ?" " Why," rejoined the 

 other, " it would say, give me none of your jaw." 



The indulgent parent, wlio takes pleasure iu 

 giving a child, after the age of eighteen months, 

 all he craves, " should be rcpresi;ntcd," says a cel- 

 ohratcd physician, " as a directing post in a cross- 

 road, with three indexes, one pointing to an igno- 

 minious death, one to a lunatic asylum, and the 

 other to poverty and distress." 



Massa's Foot. — The following circumstance is 

 a. striking illustration, of the utter recklessness of 

 feehng in relation to all that is endearing to hu- 

 man nature, Vi'hich a state of slavery produces in 

 the bosom of its victim : 



A negro in Kontiicky, not long since, had ac- 

 cidentally inflicted a wound on his foot, which 

 was likely to ]irove fatal, through want of care.— 

 A person asking the ucgro why he did not bind it 

 ■lup, was answered : — " He be no my foot ; he be 

 '"Massa's foot, — If rMassa want him wrl!. ';e "^r>y 

 cure liini hcself." 



Courtship. — A gentleman feelmg a strong par- 



•iiulity for a young lady whose name was JVoyes, 



was (?Psrrou:i., without the (■cjvrnony of a formal 



To whom it may concern. — It is surprising how 

 lightly the obligations of strict honesty seem to set 

 upon many persons who would fain be considered 

 very good men. If thc}' wish to sell an article, 

 thev ajipear to suppose that an erroneous state- 

 ment concerning it, or at least a concealment of 

 its defects, is perfectly admissible ; and when the 

 bargain is completed and the writings signed, if 

 the purchaser remonstrates, tliey will laugh at him 

 to his face. If they have incurred an honest debt, 

 which by some quirk of the law it is possible to e- 

 vade, they will postpone it and postpone it, and 

 probably never pay it at all. If a mistake has cc- 

 curred in their favor, they will never rectify it. — 

 Nay, there are men who (irofess better things, 

 wliom if you entrust with the collection of monies 

 or other confidential business, it is extremely 

 doubtful whether the proper returns v/ill ever be 

 made, unless you pursue them continually with the 

 glaiicc of your eye. In short, we believe there 

 are some pious men, who have formed such habits 

 of carelessness and negligence, that the less you 

 have to do with them the better. 



We mention these things, not because we h.ave 

 suffered more from dishonesty than many others ; 

 but because we view its opposite as a part of 

 Christian morality. A di.''lwnest Christian is a con- 

 tradiction in terms. Am] we are anxious to iin- 

 press it upon our readers, aiul also upon ourselves, 

 ti'.at iii all pecuniary transactions, if we practice 

 fraud, under whatever guise, and however intan- 

 gible by the law, it is done at the peri! of our sunls. 

 If we are entrusted with anotlier man's business, 

 and, because it is auptiier's, leave it to suffer 

 through procrastination or carelessness, we coki- 



The Kurbut, or Great Flower of Sumatra, dis- 

 covered by Dr Arnold, in 1818, is one of the most 

 extraordinary of vegetable productions. It is a 

 parasite, growing out of another plant, in the man- 

 ner of the mistletoe, and is found in woods, on 

 the roots and stems of tliosc immense climbers 

 which are attached, like cables, to the largest 

 trees in the forest. The flower constitutes the 

 v.iiolc of the plant, there being neither leaves, 

 roots, nor a stem. The breadth of a full grown 

 flower exceeds three feet ; the petals, which are 

 subrotund, measure twelve inches from the base 

 to the ape.x ; what is considered the nectariuin 

 would hold twelve j)ints ; the pistils, which are 

 abortive, are as large as cows' horns ; and the 

 weight of the whole is about fifteen pounds. The 

 I flower fully blown, was discovered in a jungle, 

 growing close to the ground, under the bushes, 

 with a swarm of flies hovering over the nectary 

 and apparently laying their eggs in its substance. 

 The color of the five petals is a brick red, covered 

 with protuberances of a yellowish white. The 

 smell is that of tainted beef — Magazine of JVatu- 

 ral History. 



Some of the Glovers in England have present- 

 ed a petition against the importation of Gloves. 



THE NEW AMERICAiX GARDENER. 



A wurk will] this til!p, compiled by the Editor of the New 

 England Farmer, with the assistance of a luimher of scientific 

 anil Practical Hi.rlictilliiralisls m the vicinity of Boston and New 

 VoiK, IS iiist puWished by J. n. Riisseli.. Proprietor of the 

 New England Farmer. "The articles are arranged alpha- 

 heiually, and comprise the most usejul \f;fif tables and 

 Friits which can he conveniently and economicall.v cultivated 

 in the climate of New England and the ^■lddl■■ Slates; as well as 

 a'l'reatise on Floweks. and im Landscape or Pictitresqci; 

 Gardens, on the general management of the Silk Worji. 

 and the mamilactnre of Silk, and a Treaiise on the culture ol 

 Grape Vises and ibe Strawberry. 'I'he article on Fruit 

 Trees coniains a:i cuumeiaiion ard description of all the Appli 

 Pears, Peaches, Cherries Plums, Ncclarincs. Apricots, &.r. iv 

 that ran he raised lo the most advantage, and their relative 1' i 

 wardiiess iu hearing, which will he f. und lo be of incakulab;., 

 benefit to gentlemen in laving out orchards. Each ot the abo\ . 

 articles is furnished by gentlemen practically acquainted wii! 

 the suhjecis on which they have written, 



A list of Ihe conlciils of the work will be found m the .^| ■ 

 England Farmer far August 1. 



Prife g 1.25— Six copies for 36.00. 



Published every Friday, at S3 ppr annum, pa.vablc at the 

 end of the year— Iml those who pay vothm si.My days from th, 

 lime of siuirribing, me ciiliilcd to a (loduution of UHy cents. 



